I love when you ask questions! I got this really good one from 
Question
"I'm interested to know how you yourself deal with stressful situations when in a less-than-ideal place, like in the supermarket queue or (shudder! at the thought) when attending family or other gatherings of people: situations where you have to deal with the stress live in-situ rather than retreating to a safe place and being able to calm yourself, if you see what I mean."
Answer
Great question! When we feel stressed is it often in a non ideal place, maybe we are around other people or on our way somewhere and can't get our own privat space directly. This question made me reflect, how do I really handle this type of stressful situations in the moment? Sometimes good and other times not that well is the honest answer ;)
When I handle the stress in a way that is good for me and works I use to:
- Focus on the breathe and nothing else. A few conscious breaths can make a big difference and calm the mind a bit to be able to think more clear. I can for example breathe in and count to 4, hold the breathe for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4-5 seconds, retain the breathe for 4 seconds and so on. Or notice how it feel to breathe in and out.
- I stop, especially any kind of multitasking. Instead I try to focus on one sense at the time. Like notice sounds or the feeling in my body.
- I try to remind myself that when I am stressed, my brain don't work as it should, it's my amygdala "danger center" that is speaking and not my cognitive part. I don't make the best decisions and I get more negative. If possible I try to not make any impulsive decisions. At first I need to make space to think what I need/want to do.
- A hard one, avoid social media. It can often get me even more stressed. Flight mode for a while can be a good idea.
- I try to see my stress reaction as a sign that I need to change something, identify why I am stressed and decide to take some minutes later to pick some things I do not need to do, can re-schedule or put less effort in to.
- After these stressful situations I also try to prioritise my sleep a bit extra because it makes me more sensitive.
- Sometimes it can help to listen on some calm positive music (if I am stressed in a store or on the bus for example).
- If I am feeling superstressed when I am in some kind situation with family or friends I sometimes also tell them that I am stressed and that I need some extra space. Or I just stay in the bathroom a extra while.
- I also have a few sentences that I try to remind myself of which is:
"There is nothing more important than taking care of myself right now. In this tough situation I need to be extra kind to myself" (I often get stressed because I push myself to hard).
"What is the worst that could happen?" I can ask this question several times in a row and think it can de-dramatize the situation. Like "What is the worst that could happen if I don't make this task in time? Ok, someone gets angry. If someone gets angry, what is the worst that could happen?"* And so on.
"What advice would I give to a good friend that is feeling the way I am right now?"
"I have felt this way before and it will decrease."
RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW - This is Steemit Stress Series
As a part of my goal to help create an oasis of wellbeing on Steemit I will write articles about different aspects of stress and and how to live more mindful. You find all of them here.
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