I’ve always known I’ve never wanted kids. It’s the one thing in my life I am so completely sure of. There’s a 0% chance of me ever feeling different in some unknown future. It’s just such a certainty, an evidence for me.
But medical professionals think they know better. I get it, ok. But I think it’s about time we discard these outdated narratives. Women who are so radical in their non desire to have kids rarely, if ever, change their minds. I mean we’re not talking about being wishy washy here. The door is closed with multiple locks on it. You can roll the dice of my future, it doesn’t matter on what it lands - I will never change my mind when it comes to not wanting kids.
This medical paternalism gets to me. I know professionals mean well, but it’s insulting to tell a patient that it’s only a matter of finding the right partner until they come around to changing their minds about wanting children. Like it wouldn’t be an absolute deal breaker in any relationship I’d choose to pursue if my prospective partner wanted kids.
If I made it to your office today it’s because I took the time to carefully evaluate my options. I know what’s best for my body and my life. I would have never considered such a radical procedure if there was an ounce of doubt still alive somewhere in me.
My biological clock will not randomly start to tick in a few years. It simply is non existent. If my stance is not convincing enough so far to you, let’s try seeing the whole thing from another angle.
Why do medical professionals appear to be so concerned about what their patients choose to do with their own bodies and lives? If I end up regretting this decision in the distant future, who would be at fault? The medical professional who did their due diligence in making sure I knew all of the risks that this irreversible procedure entails, including the (highly unlikely) risk of regret? The answer is obvious. This possibility is so insignificant for someone who is actively considering tubal litigation. I wouldn’t fight tooth and nail to get my tubes tied if the fear of regret had anything on me.
I want to have this procedure at this very moment in my life journey as it would benefit me right now. Waiting around another 5 to 10 years, solely to satisfy the expectations of medical professionals, feels very nonsensical to me. There’s no good reason to utilize an imaginary timeline to pretend that in that timeframe the desire to have a child will suddenly come up for me.
By refusing to perform this procedure on me, you are indirectly taking away my freedom of choice with the pretense of knowing better what is best for me. Having my tubes tied would grant me to have an endless peace of mind each month, as I would never again have to fear becoming accidentally pregnant. For me, this peace of mind is worth any potential cost that can come with choosing to have my tubes removed.