Neuroscience, psychology and neurochemistry have long been interests of mine... so it only makes sense that I also spend a fair amount of time trying to understand my own weird brain.
Maybe it's something all people do; maybe it's just the domain of the neurodivergent... regardless, I can't help but think that we all want life to bve as smooth and painless as possible.
For as long as I can remember, I have struggled with motivation. Even when I was a little kid, I typically "didn't care" about much of anything... often to the consternation of family around me.
Gradually, this was translated into laziness, along with the usual admonitions that I just needed to "apply myself." Well-intentioned, I'm sure... and some of it I took upon myself, even while knowing it didn't seem quite right.
But it was not that simple... it is not that simple.
When I was a kid and youth, neuroscience wasn't much of a thing yet, and certainly not something that was part of everyday diagnoses for troubled kids.
As I have written before, I mostly flew under the radar since "hyperactivity" was never something that was a problem. HYPOactivity, more like it!
The information bubble we all plug into is filled with the words and plights of 'the talkative ones." I was never talkative, meaning that I more or less focused on the idea that "this is simply who I am" and I went forth in the world, trying my best to manage that, rather than standing on the next (virtual) street corner, broadcasting my plight.
Maybe not the wisest approach, but so be it.
Along the way, a few — including therapists — attributed my lack of interest and drive to depression, although none of the standard benchmarks used to ascertain whether a person truly is depressed were particularly convincing.
Which is one of the things we learn about our world... unless whatever ails you is "debilitating" you're pretty much on your own.
Simply "lacking color" doesn't amount to much of anything.
I suppose it's testament to the fact that science — and the science of mind — does progress that in this late stage of life I finally have a better understanding of my brain... and the interesting reality that I am not actually depressed, but rather I tend to be "dopamine deficient."
"But isn't depression the result of low dopamine?"
Yes... BUT.
It's a little different when your lows are pervasive, but not debilitating.
I get up and do my chores and work and what's needing to live a functional life, but every step of the way feels like carrying a 50-pound weight on your back. Sure, "go exercise" is a great thing when I can bring myself to do it, but unlike most, I don't really get much of a lift from doing so... because my body doesn't really produce much dopamine.
But simply understanding is part of the solution, and makes life better. It's not perfect, but it's certainly better.
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great remainder of your week!
Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation! I do my best to answer comments, even if it sometimes takes a few days!
Greetings bloggers and social content creators! This article was created via PeakD, a blogging application that's part of the Hive Social Content Experience. If you're a blogger, writer, poet, artist, vlogger, musician or other creative content wizard, come join us! Hive is a little "different" because it's not run by a "company;" it operates via the consensus of its users and your content can't be banned, censored, taken down or demonetized. And that COUNTS for something, in these uncertain times! So if you're ready for the next generation of social content where YOU retain ownership and control, come by and learn about Hive and make an account!
Proud member of the Silver Bloggers Community on Hive!
(As usual, all text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is original content, created expressly and uniquely for this platform — NOT posted anywhere else!)
Created at 2025.11.12 00:22 PST
1465/2730