Doing some book work with my sponsor...
What is a sponsor anyway?
Strangely, the "Big Book" of AA does not mention the word "sponsor" one time! There is mention of sponsorship in several of the personal stories in the book but most importantly, Step Twelve states -
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
This is the essence of sponsorship! Carry the message to other suffering alcoholics (and addicts) But what should that really look like?
Your responsibility...
One of the things I have heard often in the program when people are looking for a sponsor is something along the lines of "Well call me and we will talk about it..." Meaning that it is on the person looking for a sponsor to do the work and reach out. There is a saying in the program about picking up the "ten thousand pound phone" and sometimes, that is exactly what it feels like, especially when a person maybe is not doing what they are supposed to do, but pick up the phone we must in order to get better. Reaching out and speaking to a trusted friend in the program is one of the best things we can do daily. It keeps us grounded and reminds us what is at stake.
Step work...
Something that is vital for a relationship with a sponsor is doing "Step work" or going through the twelve steps together. Sponsors have different ways of going about this, and some are better than others, but this is another thing that we absolutely have to do if we want to get better. Starting off with recognizing our powerlessness and getting to the point where we are taking the message to others can take a while, but we have to work them all to get there. My sponsor meets with me once a week and we read through the "Big Book" and discuss the things written there. He has over twenty years sober, and his book is worn and tattered. Mine is fresh and clean...
How do you find one anyway?
For me the process was simple, someone suggested I reach out and trust someone that I had no reason to trust, so I did. I asked at a meeting for anyone that would be willing to sponsor me to please consider doing so, and a guy approached me and was willing. Turns out he is one of the coolest guys I could want to know and he is trustworthy, which is the biggest thing I could ask for, at least for someone like me.
What works for me might not work for you...
However, just because that is the way I met my sponsor, that doesn't mean that is how you will find one. A lot of people have more than one sponsor, and they "vet" them before they let them sponsor them. Sometimes they meet with them and "interview" with them before they make a commitment. Whatever way you choose to do it, having a sponsor to call and work with is an extremely important step in working a recovery program.
Something to think about...
