Bottling up emotions is a type of behavior that I often stay away from, at least I used to but life is so toxic that I am often being pushed to be under the same circumstances and every time I look back to realize the truth, I find myself struggling with repeated situations and that makes me rethink of the solution I had moved along with, it feels as if someone invisible is warning me to change my pathway and build a new.
If you are from a very conservative family, it is common for you to face a kind of situation where people are there for pushing you around to follow their rules and regulations, even if they are utterly wrong. Even if everything is going wrong you are having to sacrifice and no one is actually bothered. Everyone is bothered enough to specify your lacking but none to understand and help you out. Sorting out is a type of behavior that is neglected and not given importance.
Today let us take a glance at how the situation can fall on you and if it does the possibilities it might force you into. It is not possible to talk about all the scenarios, I will focus on two.
Scene 1 :
A: Hey, I wanted to try some new snacks today, but it is far from your home. Wanna try it, I am really craving for it.
B: Why don't you buy those snacks some other time? Won't you drop me off today too? Let's have it some other time?
A: But I really want to have it today.
B: So you won't drop me off? FINE. I am not interested to go anyway. Go alone!
Scene 2 :
A: Hey let's go home.
B: Oh, actually we will be going home using another route, I wanted to try a snack there so you are coming with me too.
A: I won't be able to come along, that route is very far from my home and I will be crossing my home too, so I will drop by.
B: I just want it, I am really craving for it. So, you are coming with me!
Everything is fair in love and war. This is one of the most hypocritical sentences I have ever known to exist. Adding to it is also one of the most beautiful relationships; friendship. Scar and remedy both lie in our hands, our tone, and our responses. In our daily life, each action we take always leads us somewhere, and here the action of A and B will take us to realize what is called sorting out and what is called bottling up emotions.
So, in Scene 1 A expresses B a wish of their which is as simple as eating something they like or are craving, with having the budget of buying it but B resists and declines the offer while proposing another offer which is according to B's preference. B boldly rejects A and blames it on A to be adamant about their simple wish or craving. B tries to showcase that A is playing the bad guy while B, themself, is the bad guy.
Granting a few wishes, and a few cravings is possible by us or at the very least it is okay to dismiss it but be apologetic. You may not be able to fulfill everyone's all wishes, but it is good to have a tone that represents or transfers your message along with your words. We will have rough hours but that doesn't mean you can be harsh repetitively. That is not acceptable. That will mean the other person will have to argue or accept you as you are and that will turn them to bottle up their emotions.
In the next scenario, Scene 2, B already decided to take A knowing that it will be far for A and A will not be comfortable doing so yet B tries to convince them into taking A and ends up taking A without listening to A. If A stands on their grounds A will have to hear that they are adamant again. A might sacrifice or not, in both situations A is left to choose to sacrifice but B is playing the game. Whereas B has the option to understand and reflect upon it but B is not doing so nor is B letting A do anything. Thus repressing the emotions of A.
In both, scenarios B is either playing the victim or playing the dictator role. You know the type of dictator I am meaning here, right? It is the one where B only listens to themselves and what their heart desires. This is leading to a messy situation for A to handle. Thus making A suffer, with knowing or without.
What is sorting out? I did not give any example scenario of sorting out because I wanted to demonstrate the two contradictory situations simultaneously. So, sorting out is when B is being apologetic or with a soft tone approaches A while sharing about their problem in going to visit with A. It is very normal for both the party to disagree to go but it is not normal to push others around like you own the world. If you want others to sacrifice, you should have that mentality too.
Life is too short to just blabber nonsense. So let us make our life a little more beautiful by not being a person who bottles up their emotions but rather being a person who is willing to sort out situations. Let us be rather upfront and fear not rejections rather let us accept the real version of ourselves. It is not impossible, might be hard.
The End!
{Cover- Source}
The 1st release: Mental illness a censured sickness (Part One)
The 2nd release: Mental illness a censured sickness (Part Two)
The 3rd release: Mental illness a censured sickness (Part Three)
The 4th release: Mental illness a censured sickness (Part Four)