Happy Monday Steemverse!!
Like the title says have you ever just had one of those days? Do you have more of those days than you like? I know I do. I have to remind myself not to lose my temper over things. If you look at my post from a few days ago .. Anger 1 
Growing up I guess I had anger issues. I didn't think so at the time, but looking back I can see it clearly. A simple card game with my mom would end up with me hitting her on the shoulder several times. What started off as 'play' turned into me leaving bruises on her. She never told me to stop. She never told me that was where a bruise or 2 had come from. She would just tell me "Anger is a wasted emotion. It's negative and hurts the people around you more than it hurts you." Had I paid attention she was telling me I just wasn't listening. She was right about one thing it hurts those around you. Not sure if it's more, I guess it depends on the situation.
As time went on that is what would echo in my mind when I got angry. Yet I had no idea what I was angry about just that I was. It actually wasn't until 6 years ago in therapy (LOL) that I was told that anger is normal and that it was ok to get angry. It was how I was dealing with it that wasn't healthy.
I honestly felt I was pretty easy going, but I did have the line that you didn't cross. Most who have known me for any amount of time knows that with how caring I can be I was capable of exploding almost as easily. I had gotten to the point I kept everything in, from the smallest of irritants to major issues. As most of us know if you keep stuffing it away eventually you will explode.
One of the things I have learned since social media has taken off is NOT to post when I am angry. To let it sit for a bit then post. Admittedly my little blow up post was something that has been building. It has come to How to you fight a fight you cannot win without giving in? As I have mentioned many times before I don't not tolerate bullying. I despise the fact that I have become caught up in someone else's war.
Any way ... enough on that unless someone out there wants to help me take down this person LOL.
So how do we change our attitudes and feelings towards anger and getting angry?
Step one ... Realize like with every other emotion that we have getting angry is normal and an ok thing to do. Our feelings are ours alone and no one has the right to say otherwise. Yes that feeling might be out of place, but it doesn't mean you are wrong or bad for feeling it.
Step two ... Try not to fly off the handle. We have become conditioned in way to be reactionary. To try to elicit a response from someone. When we get the reaction whether positive or negative our goal is accomplished.
Step three ... When you feel overwhelmed by an emotion that is a good clue to step away (IF at all possible) We all need that moment to take a breath and refocus on what is going on at that time. If you can't step away, try to take that moment then and there. When you can't focus on the problem it is more difficult to find the solution.
Step four ... focus on the issue not the feelings. Some say I get tunnel vision when I am angry. They're right I do. I went from letting the anger be the focus to focusing on the issue at hand. Once I have gone through the necessary steps then do I go back and evaluate my feelings.
One of the best tools I have learned over the years is to repeat back the key points to whoever I am speaking with. This is a great customer service tool, but it works so well with almost everything. "What I am understanding is that my anger may get the best of me, but there is a way to work on correcting this problem." or something along the lines of "To make sure we're on the same page that anger can be an issue and there are things can be done to work through it."
When you use the statements they are just that, a statement. Not a question. You are not asking if you are right. You are stating this is YOUR understanding. If you seem 'wishy washy' and pose it as a question that can actually create more frustration and anger. The last thing that one wants at that point in time is for either parties to get angrier.
Depending on the situation anger can be a driving force. I feel there are times to prove someone wrong. To take those feelings and channel them into something positive rather than letting the negativity of those feelings overwhelm you. This is one of the ways that change occurs. When you come across an inhumanity, abuse of power or people and oh so much more.
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Love,
