Hey there dance and music lovers,
I'm back at it with these dance videos. This time, I'm moving my body at 9600 ft. elevation in Breckenridge, Colorado. Needless to say, I put my lungs to WORK! And it's a great way to warm up the body in cold weather :)
Here are the highlights from today:
TRACK ID
- Out of Reach - Erhling
- Don't Give Up - Groove Armada
- La Luna - Mr. Tape, RNSHW
- Some Kind of Normal - Tom Day, Jake Lowe
At the start of this year, I had a rough 3-month period of severe asthma for the first time in my life largely due to a particularly intense allergy season and unprecedented levels of stress from my work at the high school. Not to mention the two other jobs I was juggling to make ends meet financially. Wheezing, coughing uncontrollably, and being barely able to breathe was the norm, which made it almost impossible to socialize and do my job effectively. I lost many hours of sleep from being unable to breathe well.
Despite people telling me that steroids and inhalers are the only option, I was able to heal my asthma in other ways that required patience and dedication. From a holistic health perspective, being sick is an invitation to invest in deeper self-care, not just fix the symptom. My healing journey looked like deep diaphragmatic breathing and relaxation/visualization practices 3x a day, cutting out dairy and sugar completely, stimulating acupressure points, and taking natural herbs and vitamins. Yet perhaps most importantly, I discovered a surprising level of grief and rage stored in me due to stretching myself thin from helping others and neglecting my own needs. In Eastern perspectives in medicine, each organ represents an emotion. The lungs represent grief and letting go. I also stopped smoking cannabis and switched to ingesting THC and CBD, which became a considerable dependency. I liked that sativa edibles enhanced my creativity and energy levels. However, it got to the point where my tolerance went from 5mg to 15 mg and I started noticing that the days I didn't ingest THC were the days that I had digestive issues, intense headaches, and high levels of anxiety and irritability. Although this was nowhere near my time in college where I was popping MDMA and smoking weed every single second of the day, it was clear to me that once again, I needed to find a healthy balance with my cannabis use.
Movement is my favorite natural medicine. When I dance, the natural dopamine, endorphin, and serotonin levels flow. Although I love my cannabis, movement serves as an alternative to being dependent on a substance. My mind clears, my heart opens, and my body relaxes. Shuffle dancing has really helped strengthen my lung health.
Right now, I have a pretty consistent exercise routine of pilates, weightlifting, yoga, hiking, and dancing. I'm feeling increasingly comfortable in my own skin on a physical level. This hasn't been the case for me in the past. Many people (mostly women) have told me that it's just luck or good genes. I've even been asked many times, "why do you need to workout? You're so skinny." Indeed, I was an awkward twig branch who developed very slowly growing up, compared to other girls in high school who got their menstrual cycles at age 8 and had bubbly butts and full boobs by the time they started high school. It wasn't until I reached my early 20s where naturally occurring curves and roundness started to appear. Interestingly enough, studies show that longevity and health is correlated with slower physical development!
I used to be so self-conscious about the results of the hard work and dedication I put in. I would hide my body especially from other women to avoid their judgment and possible jealousy. I would feel ashamed for enjoying my own body. When I felt proud of my improvements, I would think, "wow, you're so full of yourself! Who do you think you are?" These words were inherited from my dad. In fact, he would punish me if he caught me dancing or putting makeup on. Despite his violent ways, I do appreciate that I don't exclusively define myself by my looks and image. I don't put makeup on as I find so much beauty in what's natural. Yet at the same time, I'm feeling less ashamed of owning my femininity because I realize it's a part of who I am. Being humble for me actually means not diminishing my own light. It means not needing to hide my beauty for others' sake just because they struggle to own their beauty. And when I started focusing on feeling good vs. focusing on looking good, that's when I started seeing real improvement. The motivation becomes intrinsic, and not based on extrinsic values that feed toxic societal standards. I'm still working on keeping things intrinsically motivated. The indoctrination is real. It's sad to see how many women buy into these false constructs and end up shaming and turning against each other.
When I go through something challenging, lose track of what's important for my health or get trapped in body image insecurity, movement is often what I come back to. It's something that's in my control and aligned with good health. I believe in thriving, not just surviving. I believe our bodies are a garden. It takes time and effort to create the right soil and environmental conditions in order for plants to grow and produce. If things go awry, it takes patience and creativity to accept the current reality and rebuild from there. When we treat our garden well, the garden tends to look and feel good in holistic ways, not performative ways.
If you got to the bottom of this, thank you for taking the time to read this <3
