As for most of us, the current situation in the world has altered my plans for the near future. Up until now, my daily life hasn't been that different from how it usually is though. I have still gone to the office and in the evenings I'm busy with an online coach training I'm doing this year. So in a way, I haven't had time to fully tap into the fear and worry that surrounds me here in Berlin. I have my own personal challenges, changes in my personal life that I'm doing my best to look at as an opportunity to grow. But I also have a lot of uncertainty to deal with, having to leave the flat I'm currently renting by the end of the month. And where will it be possible to go? Because I want to leave Berlin for a while. I resigned before all of this happened and this is the first week I'm not working. I was supposed to be in Costa Rica in May...
Of course, all of this will be fine in the end. This is just to give an introduction to the topic I want to write about. Because I'm in pain some days, and sometimes I also suffer, and since I'm studying these topics I felt I wanted to write about the difference between pain and suffering according to the tantric philosophy.
And the extra time I now have is very much welcomed, that's why I resigned in the first place. I feel this is a very powerful time for me. And I'm ready to take full responsibility for my life. And the life situation I'm currently in is just a perfect 'test' for my ability to do so. So I also feel grateful in all of this š I rise to the challenge but some days I just feel overwhelmed.
Pain in is essence is beautiful and is a natural part of life
According to the tantric philosophy, it's important to distinguish pain from suffering. The following quotes are from the book 'Tantra Illuminated' by Christopher D. Wallis.
There's nothing wrong with pain; it is both natural and beautiful. Natural in that it is a feedback mechanism by which nature protects us, and beautiful when it shows us our aliveness. For example, the intensity of the pain you feel when a loved one passes away is another form of your love for them - experienced in that way, it becomes a thing of sharp beauty. Suffering, however, is a mental state we could represent with statements like "This sucks!", "I hate this", "I wish this wasn't happening", or "I don't deserve this!" Most of what is unpleasant about human existence is not pain, but mind-crafted suffering. And we can be free of this suffering, for the Tantric scriptures tell us it is entirely a product of ignorance, of not seeing things as they truly are. The primary form of this ignorance is our misidentification of ourselves.
Of course, it might be challenging to think of pain as something beautiful, especially when the pain feels unbearable. Usually, it's easier to accept physical pain in this way, you don't really object when you feel pain touching something hot because it's a protection from further damage. Emotional pain though easily gets confused with mental suffering. For instance, if you lose a beloved one and are stuck in thought patterns like "I'll never be happy without him", this indicates there is a story of misalignment in place.
When there is no story to turn pain into suffering, the pain of loss is a thing of sharp beauty, fully welcomed by the clear and awake one as another form of love. It passes through her without resistance and therefore does not get stuck and turn into despair or depression.
I lost my beloved father about six years ago and the pain was so intense sometimes I didn't know how to face it. But I did and even though I wasn't familiar with tantra back then I can relate a lot to the beauty I also felt in this pain. The pain was so sharp but it also opened me up to something greater, to my life force energy, and my heart cracked open. Of course, I went through a grieving period and I also suffered, but looking back, I mostly see his passing as a beautiful experience. I felt very grateful for being alive and for all the gifts he gave me throughout his life.
If you are willing and open to it, I invite you to try and see suffering as a feedback mechanism, it is asking you to be aware of something, can you tap into this? And also see suffering as a gift and a blessing? To fully accept the suffering and see what it is here to teach you? The challenge is to not try and get past the suffering, 'pretending' everything is okay and look the other way.
In which case it will rise again, and again, until we look into what we are being shown about the way we are holding reality. The moment you see clearly how you - and on one else - are responsible for your suffering, and how your view of things creates it, an irrevocable process has begun that will not stop until it has brought to an end all mind-created suffering.
Here the importance of emotional fluidity also comes into play, and the importance of fully accepting whatever you're feeling. If you want to read more about this I wrote a post about it.
You are not a victim
The moment you fully accept and feel that you are responsible for your suffering and for your thriving, or for whatever you feel or want to happen in your life, you let go of the victim that lives inside of you. We all have a victim personality, she/he is there to protect us and it's important to acknowledge this part of ourselves. But you will never rise to your full potential if you blame someone or something for your suffering. When you accept that you hold all this power, the power of your thriving, no one else, your body lets go of all this protection and you open up to so much more energy. I feel very inspired knowing I hold this power and no one can take it away from me. But if your victim inside of you gets loud (and she still does sometimes ) embrace her/him with love and thank her/him for being here, trying to keep you safe. And then repeat:
āI take full responsibility for my life and for my thriving.ā
This is the path to healing in the world, when each and every one of us takes full responsibility for our own emotional suffering.
Thanks for reading š
Love and blessings to you all š
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