After my long break from posting it felt so good to be back, this place is really overflowing with love and I feel so grateful to be part of this community š I hope to find more time to engage more, but to be honest, I really need to practice setting some clear boundaries. It's clear that I can't go on like this, spending all of my time either at my day job, or coaching, or something related to my coaching business. (I also spend some time every day learning more and more about crypto). Over the last 5 months, I have had almost no free time, or time off. To just be and breathe. For quite some time I have defended this choice, telling myself it's temporary, I can live like this, it's worth it for some time so I can achieve my goal faster. But no, it's not worth it. I'm still struggling with my health and as soon as I do have a day without anything booked, I can easily spend the whole day on the couch or in bed, exhausted. Also, as I think I have mentioned, my plans have changed, I'll stay here in Stockholm longer than I hoped, due to the pandemic. So it's also time I adjust my everyday life, making it more sustainable.
Some weeks ago I signed up for pole dance classes and last Monday it was time for the very first class. I really like to dance and I'm also thinking of picking up belly dancing again, I haven't looked for a studio here in Stockholm yet though, but I'm lucky to have a pole dance studio just around the corner from where I live. And they are open, with restrictions in place. I'm really trying to focus on everything you actually still can do.
I can't say I had the feeling that's captured in the picture above but it was fun and really hard work. The energy was very nice and the studio felt like a warm, inclusive place. My body is still sore, I haven't really worked out much lately, this will be very good for my arm and core strength. The class really lifted my spirits and helped me stay in the now, not to worry or dwell on the past. Not thinking about everything I feel I should get done. Because I have to admit, some days I struggle a bit with depressive thoughts but I know it's so important, at least for me, to get out and do something. Try something new, challenge myself a bit.
I'm also finding a lot of inspiration diving into all the amazing material that's available at the Tantrika Institute. (I have a subscription and it's great value really). Sometimes I join a zoom call and just listen to Christopher Wallis offers me so much comfort and fills me with so much aspiration to keep up my spiritual practice. If it's possible later this year, I would like to visit their ashram in Portugal. Meditation really helps me to stay centered and connected to myself, also reminding me that everything is ok, whatever I'm feeling. And to really feel into this very moment. What do I actually feel, right now? Before I start to analyze and filter. I love to remind myself of this sentence (something I picked up on a zoom call with Christopher Wallis):
What is the quality of this moment before I have a thought about it?
I have written it on a Post-it and it's a good reminder when I start to spiral into all kinds of stories my mind is creating.
Being a high-achiever and someone who puts a lot of pressure on myself, I still have to learn to do less. And also to realize that doing less can actually be more efficient in many situations. Things tend to land when you pause, you give space for your creativity and joy to return, instead of pushing hard to get things done. For sure the quality of your work is better when you can create from a resourced and inspired place. I really feel that my creativity flows much easier when also my energy flows.
Energy is the key to creativity. Energy is the key to life.
ā William Shatner
Thanks for reading š
Love and blessings to you all š
