Even though I have been on a spiritual path for about 10 years I'm still not really 'good' at being fully in the present moment. I have a busy mind but of course, I know, it doesn't help to think of my mind as the enemy. It is a useful tool, for sure. The trick is though not to be ruled by the mind, and sometimes I lose that perspective. Not today though, today I actually went on a mindful walk, not thinking about some goal while I was on my walk (like getting back to the house and having lunch).
Last night there was a snow storm here and when I woke up and looked out of the window everything was covered in snow. This is actually typical for April here in Sweden and I find some comfort in this, not everything in the world is out of balance right now. By the time I made it outside though, the snow had already partly melted. The weather was really nice. I felt a bit bad because I didn't have the patience to wait for my brother to get ready (he is autistic and having a really hard time at the moment). Instead, I went on a walk on my own, shaking off that bad conscience because it doesn't help me to feel better.
I had a really challenging day yesterday, spent the day on the couch, not really able to do anything, not even to eat properly. My health issues sometimes make me despair a bit. I get the feeling it's so hard to move forward with all of my plans when I'm so low on energy. But I try to remind myself that not all days are like this. And at the moment I know I'll probably have to really take care of myself for some time in order for my body to heal. And some days I just might have to lie down the whole day, that's ok. Today I feel better (not great but better).
What came to me during my walk through the sort of wintery landscape (it was really nice to see that no one had actually walked this path before me today, no footprints on the path) was that I would benefit a lot if I was able to let go of expectations. I realize I have a lot of expectations in life. What to still experience, what I expect other people to give me, certain things to happen, certain things I hope (or expect really) to achieve. Even though I think it's good to have desires and goals in life, I realized everything would be so much easier really if went through my days without any expectations. It would for sure place me right in the present moment. Being fully present with whatever happens. Not to be fixed on a certain outcome or result. And for me, more importantly, not dreaming of a bright (distant) future, with some elusive expectations. There is so much to experience right now, without having to do anything. And with no expectations every kind of experience is welcome. Not only 'good' ones. How exciting to live my life day by day like this. I got the feeling anything could happen and I wouldn't overlook as much as I'm currently doing (this is at least something I'm aware of).
Because what do I really have to complain about? I have the resources to really create anything I desire and starting to doing so without any expectations just makes it so much more joyful. I got so excited on my walk, full of joy. So grateful for being able to be on this walk. I have really so many things to feel grateful for, why do I create all of these obstacles for myself? There's certainly no need.
I know it's a simple practice but I'll practice gratefulness every day from now on. Asking myself, what do I feel grateful for? I feel there's such an expansion in that. Leading into a flowing state, a state of abundance and joy. No matter the circumstances. The opposite of stuckness (which I realize I'm still struggling with a lot).
Talking about stuckness, a couple of weeks ago I actually started a new 21-day meditation experience at the Chopra Center that's called Getting Unstuck: Creating a Limitless Life, but guess what? I got stuck somewhere not even halfway through it, haha. In my defense, this was at a time when I was overwhelmed with anxiety and wasn't really able to let this in, I ended up crying. But I'll get back to it, I still think the challenge is still open in case anyone is interested (you can read about it here).
Thanks for reading 🙏
Love and blessings to you all 💚
CommunityIIDiscord
