Happy Monday Steemverse!!
Here we are the last Monday of the year and the decade. It is only natural when we come to this time of year to look back or reflect on past events.
It makes for one of the best ways to resolve some of the issues or events that have been hanging around. Reflection can be good. It reminds us of mistakes we might have made, but it also reminds of the good that has come too.
This gives a clue as to some fine tuning or changes we may need to look at. One lesson need to take away from this process is that you in a sense are saying 'Goodbye' to those little issues that are hanging around. You can't move forward until you have closed the door on the past.
A failed relationship is a good tool for an example here. So with my own. My first marriage had some major issues. Ultimately when you lose your sense of self, everything is wrong in the world. Anyway, I spent years upset at the fact that he could not and would not apologize or take responsibly for himself or his actions. In fact if you were to talk to him today, he blames the marriage breaking up because of me and he forgives me. He says he never treated me poorly, never verbally or physically abused me that I made it all up. I just couldn't get over the fact that he would not admit to anything and still placed blame fully on me.
When you are wounded at a core level like I was all you want is closure. The closure you want though in most cases is an admission. You want to know that never comes? You guessed it admission. It's only taken me the better part of the past 20 years to realize that it is not going to come and that the person I am hurting the most is myself. Damn the masochism LOL.
In May when I was presented with some realization that my daughter saw me completely different than I was I had decided to take a step back and redirect myself. That was when I began choosing more specifically my topics for #mindfulmonday than the full fledged fly by the seat of my pants approach I had, had previously.
One thing I had realized was the ex-husband still after all of this time tries to weasel himself in to all situations. Consciously or unconsciously he still seeks to hurt me. This time he had managed to use my daughter to hurt me. How you may ask? Manipulation. He took comments my daughter made to him, twisted them and there for twisted her perception.
Anyway, I decided I wasn't going to hurt anymore or allow anyone to keep me in this negative place. When I made that conscious choice, things started to change. I became more objective, less tension. I forced myself to see the positive in a situation than focusing on the negative.
When I was ready I did one of the most wonderful visualizations I had ever done. I flushed it all. I pictured myself writing out the issue or feeling on a piece of paper and literally flushing it down the toilet. I pictured the feeling or the person or the situation sitting like a pop-up book on that piece of paper and watched is swirl down the drain.
So as I reflect this year and look back on the past decade, I only see what I want and feel what I want. Marvel in the fact that I have been with my husband since 2004 and we have been married for almost 10 years. I can be proud of my daughter graduating from High School and then with her Master's degree. Enjoy MY memories of our last visit (since I had a blast). My son's graduation and his love and compassion. In the past decade I have made 2 major moves and yes started blogging on Steemit.
It is alright not to get closure. Sometimes we aren't meant to have that answer and that is alright. If closure is stifling your personal happiness and growth is it really necessary? How will it truly affect your life right now? To be honest, it isn't going to affect much. In fact, you will look for another issue to be latched on to. Acceptance that it really isn't important to have an admission or the type of closure you want is more important. If you can't flush it, at least close the door and don't let it in.
Best Wishes for the New Year
Brought to you by 
(steem witness)
Thank you for your continued support!
Love,
