Having paid off my mortgage this week, I decided to pop into Feed Me Surf Coast, the food waste charity which collects food that'll normally go to landfill and 'sells' it to the public. It relies on volunteers and donations, a kinda of 'give what you can afford' scenario. Because I haven't been able to afford anything lately, trying to pay a mortage with one wage, I've been relying on it to supplement our food budget. All our bread comes from there, and often lots of veggies. I have traditionally paid between 1 and 5 dollars for a bag of food which is amazing. Sometimes I bring them a bag of lemons or excess food from my garden.

This week, however, I went in with a donation of $100. I wanted to say thankyou for getting me through some hard times. It's not that I won't go again, because when times are a little tough, this extra help is amazing. But I just wanted to say thankyou from the bottom of my heart for everything the volunteers do.

This week they had a few crates of vine ripened tomatoes, and you could take a box per family. When you have ingredients you didn't plan for, sometimes creativity is needed. Our new favourite dish is roast tomato and onion in the oven, blended with a splash of wine and fetta to a creamy sauce for pasta. I made enough to freeze some sauce, and served with fried garlic mushrooms and wilted spinach.

Or tonight's dinner, garlic and onion and then hot fried halved tomatoes til they're kinda charring, add a dash of cayenne, splash of red wine, some maple syrup, tossed through gnocchi and sprinkled with basil from the garden and some Parmesan.

I had an MRI and X-ray this week. Slid into that coffin like a boss. Couldn't open my eyes but knew if I breathed I'll be okay.

The pain around my hips is worsening, and it's hard to focus. Been crying a little, but generally trying to suck it up. The doctor says the X-ray is fine, but I have FAI or femoral artery impingement, so she'll refer me to an Ortho in the new year. She gave me some Tapentadol Immediate release tablets, though I wanted codeine, and I'm nervous about taking them but with Christmas on I need some relief.

Truth be told I'm fucking gutted. One of the ways to deal with it is to modify or cease the activity that hurts, but for me it's everything - surfing, walking, gardening, yoga. The activity that saves me every day. This is not an option. I'm hoping for surgery.

So I'm trying not to focus on it, which is hard. Instead I think about what I CAN do, like plan a garden, read more, ocean swim perhaps, and figure out what do to with the rest of the tomatoes.