Photo by marcos mayer on Unsplash
Being a teacher does not mean just transferring knowledge from the narrow profession you have chosen. Of course, you are primarily employed because of that, no doubt. If you have studied mathematics, and are eager to transfer your knowledge acquired through years of study and practice in that field, your goal will be to teach mathematics. If you have been a history buff, you will continue to pass on knowledge to new generations in that field. If I have chosen piano, I pass on the same knowledge to others. I do what I am good at, I teach piano, not mathematics, chemistry or biology. There is no doubt that you have to be a professional first in your area of what you want to teach.
However, what just happened today, is that I have had a strange lesson. A different one, where not just piano skills were needed. The student who came for her private lesson poured out her soul and troubles and I found myself being her adviser and coach. A shoulder to cry on, in the true sense of the word. I was her silent support as she cried, reminded her sometimes to breathe deeply and when she calmed down she started talking on her own. I listened to her without much intrusion into her words, I know that it is very important to allow people to express themselves and follow their rhythm. Do not interrupt a person who has decided to confide in someone. I was both sorry for her and glad that she was able to express her problems to me. Not that I know her outside of our piano lessons, neither I am a close friend to her parents, although a piano teacher is often felt like a close person after several years of working together. And she’s been studying with me for a few years now, I’m not a stranger to her. She felt safe with me.
Of course, it would not be ethical to say her troubles here. I won't tell her mother either. She asked me later not to reveal the thing, and that will be respected even without asking for it. But what I can say is that looking from a neutral point of view, the supposed trouble that caused the "short circuit" in her is nothing terrible. It's not a problem at all, but that's how she understood it and she didn't know how to see the situation differently. That happens to all of us sometimes, I'm more than sure. Of course, it was terrible for her, and I did not try to diminish the size and importance of her feelings at all, but I pointed out a different view to her. First of all, I let her know to what extent I do understand her. How it is a completely normal reaction that she felt and how I could relate with it. She seemed to achieve the next level of tranquility. Afterward, I pointed out to her the fact that the other side, with which she found herself in an argument, may not have wanted anything bad, but that maybe it was a misunderstanding. That the whole thing came out as a result of not matching the same goals, but they can be cleared out with talk. Of course, to wait for a calm moment when the feelings have cooled down.
She calmed down and at one point she asked are we going to learn to play a new composition today? I was pretty happy to hear that and sure she found some kind of peace. Yes, let us play this piece, and then we are starting with a new one. Focus went to playing, eyes reading notes and fingers following the commands of the mind which notes should be played. Harmony and peace after one page, oh, how cool what music can do. And a teacher-student relationship that doesn't always mean just learning a specific subject. Bach's music just came as a perfect healing sound to that lesson.
Fellow teachers, do you have a similar experience? Do students trust you, do they find support in you? What could I do differently or react in a situation like this?