Gerald sat down at his desk and pulled out his keyboard. Time to try to and work another one out. It had been weeks since he had written a post on his blog, and his brain was shooting blanks.
“Writer’s block is a bitch!”, he exclaimed out loud. “Why can’t I just crank out pieces like other authors?” He was very frustrated.
Gerald had a bad case of cold feet. His muse hadn’t been around in weeks, and he just couldn’t come up with something interesting to write.
“Gerald, just have some fun and write!” What Gerald didn’t realize was that he was writing for the wrong reasons: Obligation, not fun.
“Wait! Who said that!?” Gerald had just realized the disembodied voice must have come from somewhere…
“It’s me, your muse...Sheila!..oh I’m also a bug!”
“I didn’t realize you were a bug, I always thought you’d be some hot woman in a flowing gown.”
“Nope, I’m a beetle. A beetle of creativity. And I’m back. Back to help you, my dear.”
“I’ve finally found you! Where have you been!?”
“You know...around...just doin’ me.”
“I’ve been looking for you for ages! I haven’t been able to write in forever! Why would you leave me?” Gerald howled.
“I needed my space. You’re so needy. You have to learn to not rely on me. You’re a creative man!” encouraged Sheila. “You can write without me inside of you ALL THE TIME!”
“I...I just don’t know how.”
“I got you something, Gerald, something that will help.”
Sheila pulled out a copy of Reverend Rum’s “Guide To How to Write Good” and handed it to Gerald.
“Read this. You’ll learn how you don’t need me to create great work.”
“Wow, I’ve heard of this guide! It’s legendary! Where did you ever manage to find it?”
“I know, that’s why I got it for you. You need to learn how to write good. Also I found it here "How to Write Good" by Reverendrum.”
Many, many hours of intense study later, Gerald had memorized The Rev’s fantastic guide. Wrapping his karate bandanna around his forehead and following the 7 easy writing steps, he grabbed his keyboard and flagon of ale and got to work on his newest masterpiece.
“Thank you Sheila! You’ve taught me that the power was inside of me all along!”
“I’ve been inside of you...all along…”
“Well...get back in me...I need to write...”
Then they had sex.
The end.