As i write this post i am eating a chunk of chocolate at 09.23AM after also smoking a cigarette! I actually gave up smoking for over a month until i left India for my vacation in Thailand. No sooner had i left my comfort zone and I was suddenly craving a cigarette at the airport and gave in very easily indeed. I suppose its partly habit, because i've always had a smoke before a flight, but i think i put it down more to my leaving everything that was familiar and feeling a bit scared for how things would go. Addiction is a strange, nonsensical and powerful thing that affects us all.. some more than others. I’m not sure exactly why some people are able to overcome their desires and cravings more than others.. i know we call it discipline, but i think that our emotions and history also have a lot to do with this.
I feel like i have so many addictions, both good and bad. In fact it seems like my entire day is structured and held together by one addiction or another. So now i would like to answer this QOTW by going through them all and just being aware of what motivated my days and keeps me feeling positive. I say that, actually im not even sure that any of my addictions really do that, but they give me the illusion of feeling positive but in reality i have given them all up at one time or another i don’t think i truly felt any worse off.. in fact i think i felt better in most cases once i had let go of these desires!
So i think i would like to start with the positives. Im sure i must have quite a few positive addictions but this is not something i have thought about before. I think i will start with Hive, because i do consider it to be a positive addiction, and yes i do think it is an addiction. There were times when every thing happened in my days, and all conversations would trigger my thoughts about what a good post it would make.. at one point time things did get a little out of hand. Overall though i have learned that writing and sharing has been an amazing experience and i have learned so much about myself through writing and seeing what came out. It has been a journey of self discovery! I have also met so many great people and read so many posts that have been a great influence, affirmation, and in sight in to so many things. The question of the week is one example where i constantly read such great posts from people all around the world, it has been a great positive experience. Of course i have also made some money, and that has helped me fund parts of my life rather than having to either do without or to do other kinds of work that i really would rather not do!
Another positive addiction is being nice to others, serving them and helping anyone who needs a lift. Im not sure really why i do it, but i cant help myself and its something ive done most of my life. Maybe it comes from some emotional wounding, or the desire to be liked and loved, who can say, but whatever it is its something that makes me feel good and others too.
Finally I am going to include meditating in this list because its something i do every morning and have done so for years. This is a huge positive and one that took me a long time to get into . It really saves me everyday and keeps me emotionally stable and happy. Its good for me, costs me nothing, and even saves me a lot of time because i think i end up being much more productive and having better ideas through the day.
Ok.. well now i get to the negative ones! There is a long list here i think, and im just going to reel them off first and then i can speak about some of them, especially the ones i want to let go of! I'm going to list them in the order of the least negative ones first and the most negative last. So lets see! Comfort, Coffee, Computers, Thinking, Biting My Nails, Meat, YouTube, Junk Food, Smoking!
From these addictions there are several that I would like to let go of. Smoking is #1 because i know i don’t need it, and i dont feel good every time i smoke. That in itself is enough reason.. since really get nothing out of it except some kind of dopamine hit, and something to 'look forward to' or a way of avoiding the moment. I don’t know its a weird one and since i have given it up many times and been quite happy about it im going to list it as #1!
Junk food has to come a very close second! When i eat junk food i feel terrible, bloated, and even sick. It costs lots of money and makes me fatter and overall does nothing good for me. Whilst i have been in Thailand i have really gorged out on just about every type of junk food that i have desired and have really felt powerless to stop it. I have also eaten well, to be fair, but in between those healthy meals i have really hurt my body with so much crap. I Know how good i feel when i eat well, and so im feeling quite determined now to turn this around and start to eat much less and much better food once i return to India. In fact ive set myself up to do this by booking 10 days in a Yoga Ashram where the diet is very strict and simple! Its time to get into new and better habits!
YouTube, Mmmmmmm. There is another one that when i think about it i would like to get rid of, not totally but i think one of the reasons i go to sleep later than I would like is that i usually watch youtube until i drop. Many times i watch really inane and pointless things that often i do wonder why i am really watching them! I think if you saw my viewing history you would understand.. oh SOME of the things I watch are just SO silly and boring omg! Its an addiction im sure and just a real waste of time.
I think those are the main things i would like to change. If i could get rid of those three things I would be much happier, healthier, slimmer, and would probably live much longer too. That is important to remember really and well worth writing this post for, so i can remind myself how important it is! I have done it before, and so i am sure i can do it again!