I never truly discovered myself..... who I was, what I was, until I attained adulthood and this is probably because adulthood is the true reality. Reality in the sense that, we've never really reckoned with what the world is like until we have to make our own choices, take responsibility for our actions and stand to defend our decisions.
The world is full of stereotypes, class divisions, racism, labels and all that, and sometimes we subconsciously understand were we fall into in these endless divisions. Sometimes it's difficult to express ourselves especially when we're limited by labels we automatically slot into of which we can never control. The world isn't peculiar enough, especially with the fact that we have to define people by some particular standard for some specific important purpose in life.
Sometimes, what we are, gives us a different understanding of what reality is. People can specifically relate to us differently especially when they realize that we're different, what they initially love about us begins to wane. A recent knowledge they have come to gather about us is overshadowed by what they have recently come to learn, making it seem like the relationship they've built with us is based on labels, the qualities or the value that they can equate to us. In actuality, we try as much as possible to not let labels define us, but we often succumb to its definition.
There are things we cannot change about ourselves, and sometimes it's hurting when we frequently get identified or recognized by these things. This is mostly because people choose to define their fellow human by the things they can place their finger on. For example, the aspect of "looks" is a vivid definition. "Beautiful and ugly" are labels that we regularly attach to people as a factor that sometimes determines preference.
However, we cannot fault our nature, labels are inborn instincts, our ability to discern makes us categorize everything we come to relate with especially with people, the universe and our environment. One thing labels does is change human attitude or their disposition apart from the fact that people typically lie that labels are just meant to purely categorize others.
The truth is, we cannot take away this Instinct, it's inborn from our ability to make choices backed up by freewill, but the truth is everyone at one point in time have been affected by the unfairness of labels. For me, I do not have a lot of people I can trust in my life, but the few people who I do are the ones who see past the labels to key into what might or might not be valuable in me. Let us forget pride or sentiment, everyone wants to be loved, accepted and found valuable.
However, some people might camouflage this human weakness with the lies that they don't need validation to attain value. In reality, we bask in the positive labels people tend to place on us, we only become unhappy when it's negative and unacceptable. The truth is, everyone seeks people who would look past their visible labels. This is what you'd call a natural likeness or attraction that isn't based on any attributes.
It's often rare because Incentivization of any sort brings extrinsic attraction, but then we would have found fulfillment when people look past the labels we subconsciously fall in, to actually find us valuable, and why not? We want to be loved for who we are and not what are, we seek people who wouldn't find faults with our shortcomings, sometimes, this yearning becomes a fetish in our heart because we sometimes deem it to be impossible.
I haven't fallen and stayed in love a lot in my life, this is because of the level of expectations that is brought about by the inclination towards labels. However, acceptance goes beyond romantic love. It's harsh that we have to fit into a standard or suffer the subconscious negative categorization of people. A lot of people wish they aren't what they are, but what they are is deemed to be "less" by the society.
People who are deemed to be "less" automatically should have "less" in their lives, now, inasmuch as this might not be their goal and aspirations, every of their striving are met by the discrimination caused by labels. We cannot blame our nature like I reiterated, but then, this doesn't mean some of it's gnawing aspects should be wholly fed and allowed to thrive. We should be better, allow our sense of magnanimity, our consciousness to balance some of our cannibalistic nature. At the end of the day, labels are imbued into the mind, and it's our choice to feed it or starve it.
Interested in some more of my works?
A Personal View Into The Meaning Of Spirituality (ecoTrain QOTW)
Why You Couldn't Create Good Contents In 2021, Why You Still Wouldn't In 2022.
A Psychoanalytic Dive Into Incentivized Loyalty
The Nigerian/African Disposition On Marriage As An Endowment
Living & Living Unintentionally (The Financial Repercussion)
@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or reblog