A good day to restart meditating
Lately, I've been somewhat emotionally blocked. Some things happened that triggered some things from the past to come to the surface and whenever that happens, I usually go in shutdown mode quite fast. Everything annoys me, sounds and light are a lot to handle and can make me go off easily. Not the best place to be in mentally. But I guess knowing that this is triggered by something is better than feeling like this without understanding it, right?
Today is a great date and despite the way that I feel I want to make it memorable somehow. Today is just another day, the kid is at the kindergarten and we are both working from home. Not a special occasion for anything so I will have to make something out of the day myself.
22-02-2022: The day that I re-start meditating daily.
The question of the week
So with the words "re-start meditating" you'd probably guessed that I've been there before, trying to silence my mind and drift of to a peaceful place to meditate. Yes, that's correct, I've been there and it has proven to be helpful many times honestly. But it has also proven to be very hard to stick to this routine of daily meditation for several reasons. It's actually a vicious circle preventing me from staying on track. I know that it helps me clear the mind, but to sit down and actually silence the mind is just not that easy. My mind has thoughts flying around like crazy most of the day. I have to write it down quite often otherwise it will drive me nuts.
Usually when I want to sit down and meditate, someone (my boyfriend or daughter lol) is talking to me instantly pulling me out of the vibe. Instead of warning them upfront, I just sit down hoping they will leave me be, my mistake, obviously. And then there's the moment that I can actually focus, my mind thinks about everything I still need to do and what if things go wrong and I can't make it all happen in time. How are we going to manage, etc. I'm a control freak, not by nature but I became that way after I lost total control of my complete life some years ago. Since then, I started to get a little OCD and always remain in control when I can. If not, it freaks me out. The pandemic is a huge trigger in this case as our move to another country can be completely influenced by what the current status is and more importantly: I can't plan that far ahead thanks to it.
So if I had to answer this week's question looking at my current situation, it's the fact that I'm not in control that freaks me out and makes it hard to silence the mind. I do have a little trick up my sleeve to succeed this time: subliminal files focus, let go of negative blockages etc. I've used these files for many things now and they always make me relaxed and focused while I have them on as background sounds. So this time, I will start listening to these and once I'm relaxed, start meditating.
PS 
Sharing this community on Listnerds
What's Listnerds you may ask, that's the first blockchain mailer made by 
Why am I sharing the Ecotrain community on Listnerds as they have nothing to do with each other? Simple answer: The ecotrain community has helped me through some rough times in the past years, it made me self reflect, mostly the timings of the weekly questions were even exactly what I needed as if the universe played tricks on me. So I'm hoping that a few of the Listnerdies that land here may discover a new community on Hive that can be helpful for them.
If not, at least I tried :)
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