"I'm not thin anymore"...

Coming from someone who had been naturally thin before but is being bullied for it, I have always dreamed of saying this line.

Even though I had a small stomach, and curvaceous hips (due to the fact that I have genetically large hips and that I was so thin my hip bones were showing), I wasn't confident in it. People, especially men, tend to bully me because I looked "too thin".

The bullying even went to the point where they physically hurting me already.

But everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

Just kidding. HAHAHA I'm currently having an Avatar Aang marathon right now in Netflix so corny ass puns like this happens a lot.


But yes, everything changed when I went to Costa Marina. While writing for my Costa Marina blogpost, aside from the fact that the place was beautiful, the Part 1 and the Part 2 made me realize how I felt with my body at the time when I was wearing a bikini.

I have always LOVED wearing bikinis

It makes me sexy, beautiful, adored, admired. And it makes my tattoos stand out! Which makes me look cool. hahahaha

I was so cautious about it at first. I wanted to delete my pictures my friends took me while I was in my bikini. Though I felt beautiful and sexy, at the back of my mind, I was fat. Too fat that I don't feel or even look sexy anymore.

Look at how my little stomach is peeping out from my bikini. hahaha. The bikini is also sized extra small, so maybe that's why. My friend also has the same paunchy stomach as mine but is well hidden by the illusion of her black one piece swimsuit.

If you'll zoom in, you can see stretchmarks, my lovehandles, the darken areas of my bumbum. Yes it wasn't perfect to look at but it made me feel beautiful. I feel sexy. I feel free.

No matter how much I try to hide it, it always comes out...naturally. I cant hold my breath for a day just so people can see a flat stomach. So what if a paunchy stomach comes out? Will I get jailed for it? Will I be hated for it?

Maybe. Maybe they'll judge me.
Mock me.
Insult me.
Turn me into a joke.
A laughing stock.

But then again...

So what?

So what if people think silly stuff because of my body?
I love it.
I get to enjoy life with it.
I can finally wear a normal shirt, skinny jeans, spaghetti strapped tops.
I'm happy to eat what I want.
I can flaunt my very existence.

The stretchmarks I have
The darken areas of my body
The fat that keeps me warm
The imperfectness of my being makes me who I am today.
All of them are the foundations of my hardwork and perseverance.
All of them are the fruit of my very existence.

Finally, I can love my body.
I can finally accept it.

After being in Costa, I have learned to love and respect every inch of my body. Though imperfect, I am still blessed with a body that can still move, eat, read, sleep, work, play, travel, and all the other stuff life can offer.
I look normal, but I feel extraordinary.

CONFIDENCE. WILL. COME. IF. YOU. ACCEPT. IT. TO. COME.

You can never please every last person on earth. But what you can do is make them shift their perspective on you. If you feel beautiful and feel confident in it, they'll see the same. But then again, who tf cares about what they think about you right?

To all the girls reading this, you are beautiful. You are smart. You are talented. You are loved. You are important. You are needed. You are unique. Every fucking positive word out there describes you. And don't you fucking deny it.

At that moment in Costa did I felt my besssst!!! Who doesn't feel their best when they feel they're beautiful and empowered at the same time?

Flaunt that paunchy confidence girls!!!




Hello everyone! This is my entry for the Ladies of Hive Community Contest #131. Thank you for reading and have a nice day!