I just made a huge self-discovery thanks to your comment about people pleasing.

Yesterday I had yet another irritating interaction with a mildly narcissistic man, and now I finally see the pattern.

He was trying to pull me under his power because I didn’t please him at any moment.

I don’t emotionally please people. I don’t feel the need to.

Healthy people should be able to stand in their own power without needing someone to perform for them.

And now this explains so many reactions from some of my ex-boyfriends. That strange switch in their behavior, that moment where they suddenly tried to pull the rug out from under me.

I never understood why they did that.
But it’s probably because I wasn’t giving them the kind of emotional pleasing they were used to.

Not out of malice. Just because it feels unnecessary to me.

People can be kind without pleasing.
And pleasing, in the unhealthy sense, is actually kind of toxic.