Is it wrong with you? ...

From time to time, r maybe it happens to you... one dlevel.

Waiting for the perfect moment is also a way to sabotage yourself. You paralyze yourself by calling it prudence, but it's fear preventing you from failing and being exposed.

It is not the best option to stay involved in the conflict. Have you noticed that you are always aware of how others are feeling and not of yourself?.

There are cycles that seem impossible to close, although I think we should not close them but rather open them to be able to run out of that environment that little by little robs us of our identity, our time and self-esteem.

There you are knowing what to say, how to contain, how to avoid problems because sometimes we are the ones who understand, we do not explode and meanwhile you feel that you stay there on the side like any piece of furniture, because we learned that our value is in being necessary and fulfilling with others and not in being yourself... This is exhausting and exhausting because inside there is a weight that no one sees.

Surely this type of situation when it started didn't even notice us, but it happened, we started to measure our importance... For how long are we able to support others, and of course when the environment is calm thanks to you, you feel that you did your job well, the issue is that no one asked us if you were well, not even yourself.

This process comes from learned behaviors maybe a place can be our family home, where being loved meant not giving headaches, behaving well all the time, being the strong and the useful and even in adult life we keep repeating that contract without reading the small letters of what it is costing us to bond from there.

At the end of this story, I am writing, we are still the pillar of everyone but ourselves, because in this way, shape or whatever you want to call it we are not building healthy bonds, we are training the world around us so that they only need us, but not to support us, support us as we have been doing with others, calming down, resolving conflicts because from the gaze of others "you look very strong"...

If feeling responsible for the emotions of others makes you happy "you're screwed" because you adapt, give in and even smile and it turns out that inside you're frustrated, but you worry about not failing, not inconveniencing, not disappointing, and you end up being the support of everyone and that's the problem that we believe we are responsible for and that robs us of our energy besides we can't be responsible for regulating the emotional life of others.

Regaining confidence, our passions and dreams, is part of what it means to heal our self-esteem. Doing things that make us feel alive and shake off the abuse, complexes and insecurities of others

This is the best way to recover.

Let's make the opposite happen, prioritize us, put ourselves first, show ourselves self-love, and from there embrace others.
We have to learn to say "I can't do it today, I'm tired", it's better that we stop putting masks on and disguising "our kindness", it's the best possible decision to start living, without emotional weight, without feeling guilt.

Janitze 🦋