Living under the weight of "must be"...

Many times we want fast well-being, but one builds oneself from the inside, understanding emotions, history and limits. And when you do, friend... it feels different.

One of my daughters has a solid career, a stable relationship, and she decided that children are not part of her story. This leads me to analyze the belief that has been normalized for years, and that is the fact that society assumes that a woman without children has something pending, incomplete, as if she had something to explain.

And that belief is built collectively, in the comments of the family, in the questions of the meetings, in the look that says “it's going to get to you”.

They have no idea how many women want to solve that problem of the absent desire for motherhood in them, when the reality is that there is nothing to solve in them.

The point here goes beyond wanting or not to be a mother, the issue is that it has been assumed that all women should want it, that motherhood is the destination and everything else is the diversion, or a waste of time; and it doesn't go that way, the real truth is that when a woman chooses from her own desire, the only thing she needs from others is respect and self-esteem to sustain her decision beyond the tide against...

Because in the end, a life built from consistency with who you really are is worth a lot more than a life built to fit in with what others expected of you.

I think there are women who have children and that's just made by good mothers and less happy. Because a child is not synonymous with fulfillment or happiness... never!!!. A woman's true fulfillment comes from living with purpose.

Of course it's nice to be a mother, I know from experience, I'm a mother of three, because once you have children, you can't live without them. But it is also nice to decide not to be a mother, because every woman has the right to exercise freely, how to live her life.

Fitting into a mold imposed by society is the perfect recipe for resentment.

It is also true that NOT having children allows us to have time, energy and financial resources in a way that is not possible when we are raising, because of the great responsibility that parenting deserves, that does not mean that we are not responsible.

That autonomy is an invaluable gift.

You can impact the world through career, art, friendships, volunteering or by being the amazing aunt or uncle, who supports others. This is proof that fullness does not have a unique mold.

I believe that happiness is where one wants and with whom to live. Respecting the destiny of everyone, is all that is right!. The freedom of others usually bothers and generates envy, and value judgments to those who live under the weight of the "must be"...

Life doesn't work, like delivery...

Janitze 💐