In our darkest moments, we don’t need advice.” -Ernest Hemingway
Greetings dear Hivers? I hope you are spending beautiful Sunday. I'm glad to join with this great community first time with lifestyle's content. Let's go ahead... What a person going through the darkest moments of their lives really needs is someone who understands their pain and suffering and is there with them in those dark shadows. Someone who doesn’t immediately respond to their pain, but listens. In that moment, silence and understanding have more power than a thousand words. That quiet time reminds them that they are not alone.
As humans, we all have a habit of giving a solution to a problem with just words. It can be done with good or bad intentions. People think that if they give advice, the other person will be able to get rid of the pain. But most of the time, we don’t understand that pain is a mental problem. Providing a solution to the pain of the heart is a very complex thing.
I can tell someone, "Your problem is very simple, you can resolve it the way I tell you." When I say that, the person feels like I don't understand their pain. It makes them feel even more alone. So, we need to think a little before offering solutions. Often, what is needed is to be there for someone when they are going through a difficult time. It's something that is hard to describe in words. It's a real feeling.
Let me take you back to my past (not too far). A friend of mine was depressed after losing his job a while ago. I called him and told him, "It's not that big of a deal, you can find a better job." But what I said didn't make him feel any less hurt at that moment. I wondered what I should do now. He started talking about his pain. All I did then was listen to him in silence. I only spoke a few words during that time. I realized that maybe I should have just been there for him without saying a word. Through that silence, he felt that he was not alone. He felt that I understood his pain and was close to him. As people living in society, we all suffer at some point in our lives. There is no time limit to that. Whenever we suffer, it is okay to have someone who understands us. Someone we love can be there for us in that moment of suffering. It strengthens the bonds between people.
When we give advice with words, we unconsciously tell the other person to solve your problem this way and that quickly. This makes him feel even more pressured. When solutions are found before he can even describe his suffering, it is a burden to him. Instead, when he remains silent, he gets the opportunity to freely say what is on his mind. It is like putting the burden of his mind on the ground. When we listen without interrupting with words, that person understands that we are giving him our full attention. When we are with someone, we are not giving solutions, but showing sensitivity. That sensitivity is what keeps someone close in the darkest moments, without leaving them alone.
