Hey Sis, i feel really, really bad. (sorry about this long reply "blog-post", but i need your help right now...

Since i almost died 6 months ago in a bad accident, life has been different. Our (mutual friend.. you know who), her vlogging & regular posting (like you do too), so inspired me. She doesn't know that in Bangkok, i came "this close" to jumping off the 23rd floor. Being a Pastor who was excommunicated for drinking wine & using medicinal cannabis, had my (x) wife divorce me... it was enough to drive me into massive depression.

I have known you & her for 7 years (really). I remember the first video of you two together.

So, after all that (as i was doing exercise on my mountain bike, i was attacked by 2 hawaiian pitbull hunting dogs, and i did see death. But at the last moment, a very real Angel came to my rescue & backhanded those 2 dogs. (not a single tool penetrated this handsome white body) 👀 😆 But it's true. I have blogged on it here on hive. (i don't know how to make a link not so obvious, so i won't add it here).

I have some metal in my right arm, but I'm alive. Then, maybe by accident a video of your friend came on my Youtube feed. I wasn't at all thinking of a "girlfriend" i promise. The voice inside me was challenging me to get back on YouTube.

Every video i watched i got charged up. So, i bit the bullet & ordered a new Canon G7X mark ii, the tallest Manfrotto tripod, LED lights, backdrop material, etc. I was SO excited (i still am).

I began to tweet & hive a bit with her, and we'd joke around (like we do, you know). And with Covid & with almost dying, and your friend inspiring me... I wrote a song about her, and asked if it would be ok to post as maybe my 1st Hive post (coming over from Steemit). She said, "sure". I ever showed her the graphic i created with her picture, and it would be (not just a "song") but a Motivational Exercise** as a PDF download saying: "If you had one last wish, and you knew you were gonna die... dot dot dot"

But... 🤧 😔 ... in the 4th month process of working on the song every single day, and the pain in my arm, and the hope that she gave me... I uh... ("oh crap, i don't know how to say this...") i... ok, ok. I fell in love with her.

( i know it's so crazy). I live in Hawaii. I don't date, or go out, and have been single for 3-5 years. But i think i embarrassed her, and (in my own stupid, over-eager self).. i accidently chased her away. I don't know how she feels, and i have appoligized, but i still don't know what happened.

I even intentionally made a post today called: Robb's Failure Dork Relationship Advice Series [1- 4 Fails to Be Over-Eager and Weird] :: @transformed/robb-s-failure-dork-relationship-advice-series-1-4-fails-to-be-over-eager-and-weird

Can you help me, Sis... please ?

I just cannot, cannot know in my heart that i embarrassed here by my song.