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Hola a todos đ. Bueno, yo crecĂ viendo mujeres muy independientes y liberales en mi familia. No recuerdo ver tanto amor explĂcito entre las parejas, sino mĂĄs bien mujeres tomando decisiones sobre quĂ© hacer y cuĂĄndo hacerlo con suma autonomĂa.
Tuve tĂas muy cariñosas y hogareñas que se la pasaban jugando conmigo y me ponĂan apodos muy graciosos; otras eran fiesteras y me incluĂan en sus actividades, a veces sin permiso de mi mamĂĄ. Las parejas de ellas, en general, tenĂan poco contacto con los niños, porque eran reservados. Mis tĂas, junto a mi manĂĄ, cantaban, bailaban y manejaban las situaciones difĂciles.
Antes era una mezcla de la parte fiestera y seria de la familia, asĂ que nunca me sentĂ tĂmida para formar relaciones. Tengo mis amigas de toda la vida y, en realidad, yo era la que rechazaba a los chicos en la secundaria y el preuniversitario, porque, como todo el mundo en mi familia, fui criada para tener novio a partir de los 18 años, peiorizando los estudios para ser independiente. Aunque a veces hice "tonterĂas", siempre eran inofensivas.
En mi familia las relaciones eran motivadas por algĂșn interĂ©s material, con excepciĂłn de mi mamĂĄ, una tĂa y mi tĂo materno, quienes han tenido una pareja estable por años por amor. Cuando era adolescente, alginas de mis tĂas me aconsejaban sobre lo que debĂa buscar en un hombre cuando tuviera la edad suficiente, pero sus consejos cambiaban todos los meses, dependiendo de sus experiencias. Hoy me dicen que no crea en "el prĂncipe azul" porque no existe, pero yo nunca he creĂdo en eso đ.
Cuando comencĂ© a tener novios tenĂa claro quĂ© querĂa. EvitĂ© ir saltando de un chico a otro como mis tĂas; esperĂ© a que alguien me gustara y conviniera. TambiĂ©n me dije que no querĂa una relaciĂłn para discutir como perro y gato, como a veces hacĂan mis padres; que a la primera discusiĂłn terminarĂa todo. AsĂ que, me he pasado la vida evaluando mis relaciones con objetividad y tambiĂ©n de forma intuitiva, para no arrepentirme de mis decisiones.
De mis relaciones he aprendido que me gusta estar con una persona que preste atenciĂłn. Recuerdo que algunas de mis compañeras en la universidad se quejaban que sus noviazgos surgieron muy rĂĄpidos y sin romance; por esa razĂłn, los chicos ya no le prestaban atenciĂłn. En mi caso, nunca empecĂ© con romanticismo; al principio tenĂa mucha curiosidad y querĂa vivir el momento. Ahora valoro divertirme y que la relaciĂłn no caiga en el desinterĂ©s.
Ninguna de mis parejas ha cambiado mi forma de ser o de relacionarme con los demås. Me sigue resultando fåcil abrirme, en temas cotidianos o irrelevantes, con desconocidos. Para temas mås profundos, hablo con personas cercanas de confianza. Pero no suelo buscar crear amistad con todo el mundo o nuevas relaciones amorosas constantenente, porque disfruto también de la soledad.
Lo mĂĄs importante para crear vĂnculos y despertar sentimientos es la comunicaciĂłn. Por mĂĄs diferencias que existan entre las personas, a travĂ©s del diĂĄlogo civilizado se puede llegar a un entendimiento y respeto mutuo.
English
Hello đ. Well, I grew up seeing very independent and liberal women in my family. I donât remember seeing so much explicit love between couples, but rather women making decisions about what to do and when to do it with complete autonomy.
I had very affectionate and homey aunts who spent time playing with me and gave me funny nicknames; others were partygoers and included me in their activities, sometimes without my momâs permission. Their partners generally had little contact with children because they were reserved. My aunts, along with my mom, sang, danced, and handled difficult situations.
I was a mix of the party and serious sides of the family, so I never felt shy about forming relationships. I have lifelong friends, and actually, I was the one who rejected boys in high school and pre-university because, like everyone in my family, I was raised to have a boyfriend starting at 18, prioritizing studies to be independent. Although sometimes I did âsilly things,â they were always harmless.
In my family, relationships were motivated by some material interest, except for my mom, an aunt, and my maternal uncle, who have had stable couples for years out of love. When I was a teenager, some of my aunts advised me on what to look for in a man when I was old enough, but their advice changed every month depending on their experiences. Today they tell me not to believe in "Prince Charming" because he doesnât exist, but I never believed in that đ.
When I started dating, I knew what I wanted. I avoided jumping from one guy to another like my aunts; I waited for someone I liked and who suited me. I also told myself I didnât want a relationship that felt like dog and cat fights like my parents sometimes had; I wanted everything to end at the first argument. So, I have spent my life evaluating my relationships objectively and intuitively to avoid regret.
From my relationships, I learned that I like being with someone who pays attention. I remember some university classmates complaining that their relationships started too fast and without romance; because of that, the guys stopped paying attention. In my case, I never started with romance; at first, I was very curious and wanted to live the moment. Now I value having fun and that the relationship does not fall into indifference.
None of my partners has changed my way of being or relating to others. I still find it easy to open up about everyday or irrelevant topics with strangers. For deeper matters, I talk with close, trusted people. But I donât usually seek to make friends with everyone or new romantic relationships constantly because I also enjoy solitude.
The most important thing to create bonds and awaken feelings is communication. No matter how many differences people have, through civilized dialogue, mutual understanding and respect can be reached.
