Miguel had been suffering bullying due to classism. He studied in a very privileged private institution, but his mother could barely pay his tuition; the kids made fun of his physical appearance, his shoes, his supplies and even the brand of his clothes. He tearfully confessed to me that most of his classmates had a specific type of shoe and that he felt ashamed that his shoes were not of a recognized brand.
He told me that the teacher didn't believe him when he accused his classmates, that he hated everyone at his school and that he didn't want to go back there. According to his words "some of my classmates would wait for me in the doorway and when they saw my mom leaving, they would stomp on my shoes. Others wouldn't even speak to me."
"They say I'm the gollum creature, that I'm disgusting," she said with tears in her eyes. Right next to us, my coworkers were listening attentively to Miguel's story, all of them were waiting for what he would finally say. I held a handkerchief up to him to wipe his tears and he smiled.
Miguel había estado sufriendo bullying por clasismo. Estudiaba en una institución privada muy privilegiada, pero su mama apenas podía pagar su matrícula; los niños se burlaban de su apariencia física, sus zapatos, sus útiles y hasta de la marca de su ropa. Me confeso llorando que la mayoría de sus compañeros tenía un tipo en específico de calzado y que él se sentía avergonzado de que los suyos no fueran de una marca reconocida.
Me dijo que la maestra no creía en él cuándo acusaba a sus compañeros, que odiaba a todos en su escuela y que no quería volver allí. Según sus palabras “algunos de mis compañeros me esperaban en el portal y cuando veían que mi mama se iba, me pisoteaban los zapatos. Otros ni siquiera me dirigen la palabra”.
“Ellos dicen que soy la criatura gollum, que doy asco” indicó con lágrimas en los ojos. Justo al lado de nosotros mis compañeros de trabajo escuchaban atentamente la historia de Miguel, todos estaban a la expectativa de lo que finalmente decía. Yo le acerqué un pañuelo para que limpiara sus lágrimas y sonrió.
"I must look like a fool, I shouldn't be crying" he said, I told him it was better to cry in the company of a friend than in the solitude of his room. I assured him that the worst thing he could do was to remain silent in the face of his suffering, communicating what we felt did not have to make us feel guilty.
Sometimes others are going to be nasty to you, but that doesn't mean that what they say is true. I let her know that the only thing she could not feel was fear because first of all her well-being should prevail.
That conversation, managed to move me a lot because it was the same story that I and many others had suffered. Only this story had to have a different ending, I knew it as we went to get ice cream. I didn't have to tell his mother anything, he took the initiative himself to tell what he was going through.
“Debo parecer un tonto, no debería estar llorando” dijo, yo le dije que era mejor llorar en la compañía de un amigo que hacerlo en la soledad de su habitación. Le aseguré que lo peor que podía hacer era quedarse callado ante su sufrimiento, comunicar lo que sentimos no tenía por qué hacernos sentir culpables.
En algunas oportunidades los demás van a ser desagradables contigo, pero eso no significa que lo que ellos digan sea verdad. La gente que hace bullying es porque por lo general fueron víctimas de algún tipo de violencia, le hice saber que lo único que no podía sentir era miedo porque primero que nada debería prevalecer su bienestar.
Aquella conversación, logró conmoverme mucho porque era la misma historia que yo y otros muchos habíamos sufrido. Solo que esta historia tenía que tener un final diferente, lo supe mientras íbamos a por un helado. No tuve que contarle nada a su madre, él mismo tomó la iniciativa de contar por lo que estaba pasando.
His mother of course filed a formal complaint with the school board. That never went through and Miguel had to be transferred to another school. There was also the likelihood that he would confront his bullies at the old school, but some battles are not worth fighting. Many times walking away is the best thing you can do.
On many occasions, I myself reacted with violence to bullying, but we are not all the same. Violence only brings more violence, although sometimes it is satisfying to hit someone who hurts you, that is not the solution. Miguel is already a teenager and he probably has little to remember that fact.
There are probably many children who, like Miguel, suffer or suffered bullying at school. The premise is the same "we must always listen to children" and give their problems the same attention as the problems of adults. They deserve it.
Su mama por supuesto introdujo una queja formal ante la directiva del colegio. Aquello nunca prosperó y Miguel tuvo que ser trasladado a otra escuela. También existía la probabilidad de que él enfrentara a sus acosadores en el antiguo colegio, pero hay batallas que no vale la pena luchar. En muchas ocasiones apartarse es lo mejor que puedes hacer.
En muchas oportunidades, valga la redundancia yo mismo reaccioné con violencia ante el bullying, pero no todos somos iguales. La violencia solo trae más violencia, aunque a veces sea satisfactorio pegarle un golpe a alguien que te hace daño, no es esa la solución. Miguel ya es un adolescente y seguramente poco debe acordarse de ese hecho.
Probablemente existen muchos chicos que, como Miguel, sufren o sufrieron acoso escolar. La premisa es la misma “hay que escuchar a los niños” siempre y dar a sus problemas la misma atención que tienen los problemas de los adultos. Ellos se lo merecen.
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