I live a pretty boring life in school. Don’t get me wrong, we get turnt up every once a while but in a daily basis, I just go to class, go to the cafeteria later for food, and head right back home. Maybe I text a couple of people on WhatsApp, come on Hive to check out some stuff, and hop on Reddit to read and stalk people’s lives . Then I go to the gym later in the evening. My life is these events on a loop everyday.
If I had written this blog a week earlier, I probably would’ve added opening Tradingview and doing some crypto analysis. But for now, I’m staying out of the futures market for my own mental health. It frustrated the living shit out of me and accounts for 80% of why my username is what it is.
This boils down to why I go to the gym since I said I wasn’t going there to bulk. I go the gym because it keeps me busy and makes me feel better. It helps me lose myself in time and deal with things going on emotionally or mentally behind the scenes in my life. It is my therapy for loneliness, boredom and depression. It’s like for the short time I’m there, I forget all my worries and I’m at peace with myself.
Don’t get me wrong, it’ll be awesome to put on a little bit of muscle as I keep going, but that’s not primarily why I’m there . God knows I need it😂. I’m as skinny as they come. The health benefit of hitting the gym is also a plus for me. But what drives my going to the gym is my mental health.
Last year, I had just been through a break up and was a miserable piece of shit for a very long time until I started hitting the gym. I had nothing doing after the breakup and no one to talk to because I basically cut off everyone who wasn’t family or a best friend because I didn’t want my girlfriend to get even the slightest Idea I was cheating on her. Another thing I was wrong about. So the breakup basically left me alone with my d**k in my hands lol. Sorry about the vulgar expression.
I diagnosed myself as an anxious avoidant attached person after some research I did a couple days back when I came across something on Reddit. This is a very bad idea, but hey I don’t have money for therapy and there’s so much free information and people talking about their experiences on the internet. I’m contributing my share to the experience right now lol. I wrote about it here. I overthink too much. I over obsess when I’m in love and that is where I am right now. In a relationship(a new one) and always on my toes because I think there’s something going wrong every minute I’m not talking to my girlfriend or when her replies are late. The gym is one of my coping mechanism and helps me deal with things like this. I’m too busy sweating on a dumb bell to be thinking about stuff like this.
Surprisingly, I did not expect that the gym could be a place to make new friends. I mean there are people there so there’ll definitely have interactions that could lead into friendships and maybe even relationships, but I just always thought people would be too busy with whatever they were doing there that there would be no or very minimal interaction with each other. I guess that was one of the things I’m wrong about too.
Despite the fact that I don’t consistently go to the gym consistently since I started, I’ve made a good number of friends over there. Not best friends per se, but none the less, friends.
Now every time I come from class and do the same 3-4 things, I don’t just sit alone in my room overthinking stuff. I look forward to 5pm everyday now just so I can get out of my room and go lift some weights. The inconsistency has it’s effect on my weight lifting progress though. If we actually talk about bulking, people I went to the gym before that had almost the same body type as me but have been consistent definitely look different now.
I have tried to be consistent but academic work always somehow eats into my consistency goals. There’s always something with my lecture timetable every semester that my lectures are structured in a way that I become very busy around 5-7pm(the time the gym is running). Maybe this is just me making up excuses.
I believe there a lot more people like me in the gym who come there not primarily to get ripped but because it serves as a distraction or keeps them busy from thinking stuff. Maybe it even does something different for them. Point is, not everyone is going to the gym just to build muscle or loss weight or work on anything physical. There’s more to some of it.
