What the hell social media?! I was right when I stopped using it for a few weeks. You know why? THESE ADS ARE TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING and honestly…I don’t know if I should laugh or feel attacked 😂
How exactly did they decide I’m suddenly unhappy with my body?! I never google fitness stuff, I never search for workouts, and especially…I NEVER looked for army training!! 😳 Or maybe my husband used my account and now the internet thinks I want to become a soldier with six-pack abs?!
STOP IT 😭😂
Last few days my social media is FULL of ads about changing my body, getting fit, becoming stronger, more disciplined, more active…like excuse me?! I already know what exercises I need. I do them at home. Well…sometimes. OK maybe not lately 😂
But listen…life happened. My body is tired. My brain is tired. My motivation is somewhere in another country probably.
And yes…I admit it…I don’t feel excited to wake up early and exercise right now. Yoga? Yeah I still do yoga sometimes. Not daily. Not in this moment. But HOW do these creepy ads know that?! 🤨
AND WHY?!
Then I thought…maybe they noticed I don’t go for daily walks anymore because I don’t have my lovely dog with me anymore 😔 But that doesn’t mean I do nothing all day!!
…OK maybe sometimes I really do nothing 😂
BUT STILL. I’m not lazy every day!
And honestly…walking without my dog just feels sad. I used to enjoy it. Now it feels weird. I would rather walk with friends…but here in Austria nobody seems excited about random walks and exercise adventures 😂
And yes…I used to play Pokémon GO too. It was fun for exactly two months. Then I got tired of walking around staring at my phone looking for tiny fake monsters 😭😂
And the funny part? Back then everybody was doing it, so nobody even looked at us like we escaped from a hospital.
Did the ads remember THAT too?! 👀
But the most scary ads are definitely the army ones 😭😂
Like…what are they trying to say? That I need discipline? That I’m weak? THAT I SHOULD WAKE UP AT 5AM AND RUN THROUGH MUD?!
Excuse me sir…I already suffer enough at work 😂
Or maybe they saw I still have The Sims installed on my computer and thought:
“Ah yes…this woman is one loading screen away from forgetting reality.”
BUT GUESS WHAT ADS?! I DON’T EVEN PLAY IT 😭
My computer literally told me I’m too old for Sims because every time I play for 30 minutes it starts overheating and sounds like it’s preparing for takeoff ✈️😂
And all those games on my phone? I don’t play those either. They just sit there. Taking space. Existing. Waiting for a moment that never comes 😂
Then suddenly…pole dance ads started appearing too 👀😂
Now I’m PRETTY sure my husband searched for something suspicious 😭😂
No no I’m joking!!
Honestly he would probably search hip-hop dance classes for me instead. That would make more sense. I still have some old hip-hop moves left from my teenage years 😂
So now I keep asking myself: WHY AM I SEEING THESE ADS?!
Because believe me…I am NOT listening to them 😂
I know I don’t need all that fitness motivation stuff. Probably not yet 😌
Yes yes…I get out of breath walking upstairs.
Yes sometimes I sound like I climbed Mount Everest after a short walk.
THAT DOESN’T MATTER 😂
Yoga is still amazing.
I still have strong arms.
I can still throw a chair against the wall if necessary 😂
And I can still survive my job without screaming every time I move someone from bed to wheelchair, OK?!
…Fine. Sometimes my back hurts.
And my arm has muscle inflammation sometimes.
BUT MAYBE THAT’S NOT RELATED 😭😂
Also…I ride a bike 😌🚴♀️
The bike parks are not open yet, but soon they will be. Then I’ll show these stupid ads that I DO have muscles somewhere hidden inside me 😂
Sure…I still feel like dying after riding downhill, but that’s not important 😂
And slowly I managed to fight back against the ads!
Now when they appear, I press that magical “not interested” button.
So now my ads are finally becoming normal again:
dogs 🐶
books 📚
Lego 😍
Star Wars ✨
and random clothes I will probably never buy 😂
Although…maybe the clothes ads are trying to tell me something too 👀😂
And honestly? That one might actually be a good idea 😌
But seriously…sometimes you really should just ignore ads.
Most people do.
But then there is my mom 😂
She clicks EVERY ad she sees and then asks me: “Honey is this legit?”
NO MOM 😭😂
And her answer is always: “But it looks so real…”
Yes mom. That’s literally the point 😭😂
So when you lose all your money buying fake miracle products from suspicious websites…please don’t call me.
Because I will say the most famous words in history: I TOLD YOU SO 😂😂😂
And now please…
NO MORE ADS 😭
