There's a secret that people don't tell you, because there are many people who wouldn't be able to digest it: your life can be the way you want it. Everyone is born with free will and builds their life, choice after choice. If you stop to think and go back in time, you will be able to recognize and identify all the actions that brought you to the exact place you are today. Now, but then if we are really masters of our destiny, then why are so many frustrated and unhappy people nowadays?
In the generation of our parents and grandparents, there were few options. If he managed to continue his studies, the tendency was to specialize in one of the traditional professions that “gave money” and stability. Getting a job at top places was the dream of at least 50% of people. The rest were divided into the faculties of law, medicine, or administration. With few options, it was only necessary to choose the one that gave more guarantees of a stable future.
In our generation, everything has changed. We watch our parents spend their entire lives in a job until they retire, and we realized that this choice would not guarantee fun and happy life. We watch them work year-round to take two vacations a year. We see them only having to travel on holidays and weekends. We watched them work their entire lives to start thinking about doing something that made them happy after retirement. The problem with waiting for retirement to be happy is that you will probably have plenty of time, but little disposition. All your energy from your heydays will have been spent making someone else rich. These observations made us realize that it was necessary to be able to associate work with purpose, and that is where difficulties began to arise for many people.
In the past, you didn't need to think too much. Just fit in with some of the options offered by society and that's it. Things are different now. Knowledge frees and also opens portals that can no longer be closed. Once you realize that a job in an office isn't going to make you happy, for example, you'll never be able to settle for that lifestyle again. This may sound bad, but it isn't. Frustration generates movement, without it, we don't feel the need to move, to leave the comfort zone.
But that's where a lot of people impact. It's easy to find out what you don't like, but it's a big challenge to know what you like. Everyone has something that makes their hearts flutter, but we are so encouraged to mask who we really are that we often silence this voice that tells us what to do. And, as the saying goes, if you don't know where to go, the wind will take you in any direction – and you may not like where it ends up. That's why it's so essential to be able to answer a question: What are you looking for? What do you want? What makes you happy? Where would you like to be now? The impossible is just a matter of opinion – everything was impossible until someone went there and made it possible, so right now, don't hold back thinking about the difficulties. If there is a wish, there is a way to fulfill it.
Perhaps the biggest challenge for our generation is actually discovering what we love. There is no turning back – we are no longer going to settle for living a mediocre life, doing work that means nothing to us, so we need to make an effort to find out what we are looking for. The process is not easy – it takes time, it takes effort, we have to deal with a lot of ghosts along the way, but the answers are worth it. And chances are, in the end, you'll conclude that you like to do more than one thing, which is totally normal. This is also a characteristic of our generation – we are multi-role, we like a lot of things, and there is no problem with that. The important thing is to focus on one at a time, because whoever wants to do everything at the same time, ends up doing nothing well.
So, that's today's message: don't get lost in the search, don't give up on it. Stop only when you find out what you are looking for, what really feeds you. Does this job that keeps you 14 hours in a closed room really make you happy? Does a man who says he loves you but appreciates you even for your ass deserves to be part of your life? Is it worth giving up on a dream because your parents don't agree with it? For these questions, there is no template – only you can truly answer them.
And when you find what you're looking for and release a big fuck to the standards the whole world tries to convince you to follow, you'll then find that life is good, that it's beautiful, that it can be whatever you want. And then you'll want to grieve for days lost in the dark – do so, but don't waste too much time reliving the past. Now you know – the present is too good (and too short) for that.
It is not negative external circumstances that are causing you pain – or even happiness – but your reaction to these circumstances.
The good news is that once you become aware of this truth – and it hurts, I know! -, you have a choice.
You can keep creating suffering for yourself. Or you may decide that, from now on, you want to create happiness.
We are the architect of our lives.