When I was younger, expressing myself was really difficult, and this was because of the toxic environment which I grew up in. The society as at that time was insensitive, fellow children in the same age group as you could taunt you for wearing a torn T-shirt or a worn out shoe without feeling any aorta of sympathy or remorse. This stems from the training and different background of upbringing.
You could be jeered at for not being good at football, and made a laughing stock for being afraid of fighting or dueling your mates. I wasn't exactly bursting with good health, and I had family issues. My home was not a fertile ground and the environment outside the home was putrid and distasteful, so because of this, I couldn't confide in either, I grew up, the little boy I was, welling up ideas inside me and carrying injurious pain inside my mind. I learned to have a thick skin the hard way
It's contrasting to know that in the past, I dealt with pain by sucking it in by nowadays I deal with pain by talking about it. So what changed?, Me. The truth is that, no one is an expert at handling pain, different people have different mechanism. I do more of intrapersonal communication than interpersonal. This is because most of what I exactly tell myself is nothing but the truth.
One of the most difficult things in life when facing pain is telling oneself the truth.
It is scary, it an be disgusting as well as shameful. A lot of people live in self-denial because they're fighting so hard to bury their truth, they know that it's inevitable, it might eventually catch up. Nevertheless, one thing I try not to do is to blame people for denying or not accepting their truth which makes up almost every of their being or existence.
We try to counter the truth by listening to external voices. We live in fear and denial of the truth. But comforting oneself with heresy and lies is like putting a band aid to an already infected wound. Meanwhile, taking off the band aid and dealing with the wound no matter how painful is we tend to achieve relief.
At one point in time when I was younger, I tried as much as possible to not be seen in the same light as my immediate nuclear family, but overtime I discovered it is evident in my surname, my gene, my face, culture and origin even in all my attempts to be seen in a different light. Trying to run away from the truth makes one feel good but it's just a short term relief from an inevitable state. This is why we must seek the best form of relief: acceptance, indulgence, cognisance.
Achieving relief is more tougher especially when you're going through pain that is brought about by circumstances beyond your control. Some people do it by coming to terms with their issues and facing them solely. Some others need reassurance from external sources. This can change in the life of a person overtime.
A person, exposed to a toxic environment, toxic people or toxic tendencies are the ones that bottles up things, like I did when I was younger. However growing up, this changed, as a 28-year old I keep a small circle but they're definitely the best people, they have had significant impact to how my life has suddenly changed. They have inspired my confidence and for so many years, they've managed to influence me in almost all ramifications. As a result of this new environment, it's way easier to espress myself.
Overtime, I've discovered that expression is one healthy way of dealing with issues. Especially when you have a platform to do so. This platform can come in form of people, The right people. Nevertheless at one point in time, one steps out of these circle, you're exposed to situation, people who wouldn't even understand when you try to tell them what you're going through.
To a few, life is war and weak and emotional people shouldn't get a chance to compete. Talking to these kind of people in life is inevitable. They can come in form of one's boss, tutor or even a partner. It can Make one reconsider the need to be open minded about their issues. However, finding relief should be proritized. We should learn to appreciate those little moments of peace and strive hard to attain them at every point in time.
Interested in some more of my works?
Why Do Nigerians Choose To Dye Their Hair? (Feature Article)
How Life's Issues Prevents Us From Obligatory Priorities
A Sense Of Self Accountability: Why Minimalism Exceeds Beyond Spending Money.
A Taste Of You.... (POB WOTW) {An Original Poetry)
Causality & Common Sense: Some Answers To Most Plausible Questions?
My name is @Josediccus, a young Nigerian entrepreneur who is a Vlogger, A Psychologist, Poet, Sports Writer/Analyst & Personal Finance Coach. I'm using my contents as a process to create shared meaning as well as create expressions through which people on/off hive can relate. I believe content is a process to be enjoyed and relished and I'm up for any collaborations in my field stated above. Cheers
@Josediccus, your brother-in-pen & heart
I'm hoping to reach more people who are broken at heart and spirit, so share on any platform or reblog