Trying to please everyone is a recipe for disaster. I've been there done that and I now I am done with that. Be it writing a post or in real life with people, I do what I feel like and live my life my own way. I believe only the people who are destined to be in your life will remain, the others come and go, so there is no point in over stretching yourself.
Why trying to please people is not good for you?
There are a many reasons for this but here I'll focus on a few here.
You lose your identity.
This is the single most important reason why trying to please people is bad for you. You are a unique person with unique thoughts and emotions so why follow someone mindlessly? Place value on your own thoughts and and emotions, don't get swayed by someone imposing their thoughts on you or let them indirectly coerce you in any way. Hold on to your point of view if it is reasonable and valid.
You are afraid to upset others
If people get upset by your valid thoughts and emotions so be it. If they have the right to be offended so do you. We just can't make everyone or anyone happy all the time. We need to accept that. That doesn't mean we have the license to be rude or trample on others' feelings. Be sensitive, but don't get stomped all over. Recognize when you are being manipulated. Remember people upset you all the time and don't care about it. Make sure you do not allow this thing to get under your skin.
You don't know your worth
When you try to please others all the time you need to know that your self-worth is pretty low. You rate yourself so low that you need to be validated by others. Their ideas become more important than yours. Sadly people-pleasers fail to recognize the fact that they are the main actors in their life story. Respect yourself.
You lie to yourself
That is true! When you agree with their ideas or pretend to agree with someone just so that you do not get into an argument or rub them the wrong way, you lie to yourself. While you think you keep your peace you allow your ideas to die a silent death.
You engage in Self sabotage
When you allow yourself to be manipulated just so that someone likes you, you tend to put their goals over yours. You work on your time for them and wonder why you are not as successful as the person you allow to dominate your life. You can never live up to your fullest potential this way. Smile and wave may seem like a good social skill but it doesn't aid your progress.
You will never be the boss
You will always be second in line to someone but never be the boss with this attitude. You need to learn to say' no' sometimes and assert yourself. You need to cut yourself away from such crippling ties and find your own path. It is never okay to be unfair to yourself.
Stop being afraid
Most of us are afraid to venture into new territory. It is easier to follow the footsteps of a pioneer, there is nothing wrong with that, However, if you follow just because you are afraid of saying no or afraid of hurting the other person you may never overcome your fears. You would just remain a shadow of yourself. You will never let the real you come to the fore and let your light shine.
Stop pleasing people and start living your own life!
Thanks or stopping by to read and respond.