The other day, I mentioned how babies were the spice of life. Well, when it comes to the elderly, they give us something to look forward to. Or not look forward to. Babies and old people are like opposites, they represent both ends of the stick called life. Babies remind us of our past while old people give us an inkling of how our future could be.
Being around old people can be very interesting and very tiring, the same as being with a baby. But this is a different kind of interesting and tiring.
Growing up, I never got to spend quality time with any of my grandparents. We lost them before I could even form memories with them, and as a result, I don’t even have any idea of who they are personality-wise. All I have seen are pictures of them and I have heard stories about them. The oldest person that I ever got close to is my father’s eldest sister. We call her Nma Jane.
My aunt is one of a kind, and I have never had any issue seeing her as a grandma because she definitely fits the shoe for me. Besides, even though she’s my aunt, I’ve never called her that. All of us call her Nma which is Igbo for mother (it is generally used as a prefix before the name of an elderly woman. In the case of an elderly man, we use Mpa as the prefix).
She is in her eighties and she’s still quite agile, even though she suffers from bouts of arthritis every now and then, but it doesn’t stop her from living her day-to-day life as if nothing is wrong. She still wakes up every morning and cooks meals, making use of firewood. Would you believe her children offered to buy a gas cooker for her, but she refused? According to her, a gas cooker could never be compared to firewood. And she had gotten so used to it that she could easily cook with it while young ones like us will be choking and sputtering from the smoke.
I got really close to her when I got admission and I moved over to my state. Whenever I was paying her a visit, I always made sure I didn’t eat anything because she would surely stuff me up. And when I was going to school, she sent me off with foodstuff and other things.
Being with old people can really be fun, they view the world through a totally different lens. That is why they would never understand some of the things young people like us do. In the same way, we would never understand why they just don’t get the reason we do things. When Nma is advising you ehn, you’ll know you’re receiving advice. She’ll infuse jokes with it and somehow also slide in the warnings. You’ll be learning and laughing at the same time. Beautiful.
Of all my uncles and aunts, she’s the one I’m closest to. And I am also close to her grandchildren (my second cousins) as well.
One of the most memorable times I’ve spent with her was one night she told my sister and me the story of how she went to Lagos for the first time. She was sixteen and just married and she had to use the bolekaja bus for transport. From how stuffy and tight the bus was to how long and tiring the journey was. But it ended well and everything worked out in the end for her.
For those that don’t know, Bolekaja is a Yoruba word. In fact, it’s not even a word, it’s a phrase, "bo le ka ja". And it means "come down let’s fight".
Funny huh?
Well, there was a bus named like this in the olden days. Unlike the ones we use now, passengers sat facing each other. And there was no boot, so all their load and wares were in the seat with them. So it was always cramped and stuffy. Whenever a fellow passenger annoyed you or did something you didn’t like, it would be too tight to argue on the bus. So... “come down, let’s fight!”
She did share a lot of stories with us, stories from her time as a young girl, how my village was then, and how it has grown over the years. Imagine eighty-plus years’ worth of knowledge locked in that one head.
I love learning from her and anytime I have the chance, I always pay her a visit. Although, with work and school these days, I’ve not really been visiting as I should and I know it’s not an excuse. But I would definitely pay her a visit one of these days.
It’s been about time I saw Nma Jane again.
