That was brave!
If things could work out between your ex-girlfriend you would still go back until y'all are actually fed up with yourselves. It's not easy to build such a deep connection and let it slide except such a person is a playboy or playgirl.
I pray gift finds peace wherever she is! Cause I know she's willing to put more commitment and it should be two sided else it won't work.
RE: The worse reason (Remembering this always make me feel like a bad person)