Stillness
n. State or quality of being still ; freedom from noise, motion, agitation, excitement, and the like ; calmness; quiet ; silence.
It amazes me how well adapted to the water and its depths we are as humans. Without even making a decision our bodies have an autopilot function once our face is submerged in water. The vagus nerves trigger a list of functions in our autonomic system. The heart rate slows and metabolism is throttled down to conserve precious oxygen. Peripheral vasoconstriction (blood vessels narrowing) sends blood from your arms and legs to your heart and brain so they are not starved of oxygen. When you start descending into depths the increased pressure squeezes your spleen to make more hemoglobin, proteins that carry extra oxygen throughout your body. As more pressure is applied to our lungs a thin layer of blood surrounds them, kind of like a protective layer that prevents your alveoli from collapsing (tiny air sacks that absorb the oxygen and distribute it through your system). At this point all phases of the mammalian diving reflex are in full effect, a completely natural occurrence that if you ask me is totally BADASS!
Well before I took my trip to Tulum, Mexico to get my level 2-3 SSI freediving certification I was enamored with the depths of the ocean. I grew up next to water most of my life and being an Aquarius (the water bearer) it runs in my veins. I could always find calmness and stillness in my soul at a waters edge and the thought of exploring its unknown wonders excited me. Water is my element, my zen, and my home.
The allure of Tulum was not its bustling main street full of swanky bars and trendy cafes. It wasn't the fashion scene or the Instagram photo opportunities. For me it was the portal to another universe, the well kept secrets of the underwater anomalies known as cenotes. The jungle in this area is rife with fresh and saltwater cave systems spanning hundreds of miles underground. Part of a prehistoric reef that was once deep under the ocean. These sinkholes contain permanent water thousands and thousands of years old. The Maya people used them for fresh water as well as the occasional human sacrifice 😳.
The Maya considered cenotes "The gateway to the underworld". They also had the belief that humans, serpents, frogs, and lizards emerged from these caves. Offerings were a way to complete the cycle of life in their eyes. Some of these offering have been found in the form of solid gold, statues, and of course human remains (most of which were children). Forgive my morbid curiosity but I was compelled to go down there and see if it was in fact a gateway to another world.
The water is so crystal clear that when you are at depth its as if all time has frozen. You are suspended in nothingness but feel the force all around you. This surreal feeling is humbling and dream like, as if you are inside mother natures womb. Encompassed by silence you have truly entered another world.
By this time in my life I had already been practicing freediving for about five years. Albeit my early days were dangerous as I had no proper training and I typically would dive alone in the Caribbean ocean in Panama (an upcoming Onion Travel entry). I wanted to further my skills and awareness in the water so I sought out the help of a professional. I had previously attained my Level 1 SSI certification in Indonesia around 2009 however I was ready to go to the next level. My goal was to feel comfortable at a depth of 30 meters, make that depth my "home" so to speak.
I enlisted the help of Amancay Freediving which I highly recommend if you are interested in learning about apnea and all the science behind it. With their careful coaching I was able to reach new personal best and build a confidence level that has propelled my diving to new heights (or depths if you will). Here is a video diving the majestic Cenote Angelita with my instructor Cande.
"Mankind is bound to earth by gravity until he discovers the weightless freedoms of the depths" ~n.d.
Once again my self confidence and susception to fear was tested in the cenotes. I was having a difficult time allowing my brain rest and letting my focus wander while trying to go deeper than I had ever imagined. I was hitting a mental block when attempting what is called a mouth fill at about 30 meters. To continue going deeper you must draw more air from your lungs to your mouth to continue equalizing. In theory this sounds like a simple task, however, it is a mental challenge to do it successfully. At this depth your lungs are compressed 5 times smaller (only about 1 liter of capacity). You start experiencing convulsions in your diaphragm, deep kicks in you chest becoming more intense the longer you are under. Hard to believe you can overcome these natural occurrences with practice, right?
If you give into fear or break your mental focus at these depths it can be dangerous as well as deadly. I would reach my intended depth to perform the mouth fill, you hear this distinct beep coming from your dive watch signaling it is time, and all of a sudden this grip on my throat would not allow for air to pass. Opening my eyes and realizing I was 100ft below the surface and trying to go deeper put me into a state of shock, panicked with fear and doubt I had to make an escape to the surface. I punished myself for days not only feeling as if I had let myself down, my instructor was giving me everything she had to see me through this moment.
The mental awareness of the body and it's signs you have to understand will only improve with time spent trying. I would lay in bed at night and meditate, perform my breath up as slowly and focused as I could, and hold my breath until I felt this panic inside my body. I would work my way through it knowing I was in bed, a safe place, all I would have to do is breath to stop the process.
When I returned to the cenote to attempt my failed objective I had a fresh perspective. My plan was to do what I had been doing in bed, but this time 100 feet down. With more focus than I had ever experienced, I reached my trouble depth easily. My instructor staring into my eyes simply gave me a nod in the calmest way. I continued down the line until the bottom and turned myself effortlessly. We both had this moment of bliss and happiness at over 133 feet. I had overcome this fear and was now enjoying the deepest I had ever been, and it happened naturally. I successfully rewired my focus and broke through to the next onion layer 🙏
Even though I just posted my personal best in deep diving, conquered my inability to perform a mouth fill, and made myself proud beyond explanation...I managed to give myself mask squeeze by not equalizing my mask. 👏
The rest of this trip was a success as well. I enjoyed the culture with the locals, excellent food, and superb hospitality.
I want to take this chance to thank all of you for accepting me into the Hive community with open arms. The love expressed here is unwavering. I look forward to sharing more adventure stories, photography, and video. As always I am an open book and would love to hear your opinions, questions, and thoughts.
Up next we are going to take a little trip to South East Asia 😁
Be well and Mahalo