After being told on Hive Discord that myself and my Hive boy friends should go and wank each other off, who think the spendHBD shops in Nigeria are dodgy as fuck , 
OK first and foremost Claude lets use plan mode to do this. This is a sensitive subject and some of the language used in Discord is highly inappropriate and crass but we have to move past that and be openminded to carry out the nice mans proposal. How many people commented on that post from 
Yes I agree , the language is crass, crude and not befitting of someone representing the Hive Blockchain but we will have to get over this.
Claude how many people commented negatively on this post?
Approximately 263 but 74 unique users.
OK research from screenshots from your chrome extension of how many of these users have male genitalia?
By my calculation there are 74 people that commented negatively on this post. Judging by screenshots of these users there are 55 penises give or take a penis. Will I include females in Wankfest I as most of your friends are women on Hive?*
No Claude, I wish, but he specifically said boy friends, not boyfriends or girlfriends but boy friends, friends that are boys, or males. I have quite a few at this stage. Calculate how many
Calculating...............
53 penises in total but Claude recommends we include some females as it is not very DEA friendly to not include any females.
.Lets aim for a core group of males first of all for the people who downvoted 
There are 26 downvotes on the post. Please see below the names of the downvoters. By my calculations these people must not agree with the post and are therefore eligible for Wankfest I.
Perfect Claude. This many people is one big circle jerk. No pun intended. I suppose you can consider all of these my silly little friends?
I like what you did there. But many of these accounts are not silly and some are super intelligent whales that might not take kindly to the "silly" slur. But I digress this amount of people masturbating each other off will require some planning and it is highly complicated. For example if one uses the proven, standing in a circle wanking each other model, and one of the 55 people is left handed then the communal hand job breaks down. So we need to send out an invite stating what has to be done and ask them if they are right or left handed. We could also ask if some people use both hands as I know many people like to use their bad hand. They could then fill in the gaps and be the double hander, commonly known as a double adopter in swingers circles, so to speak.
Jesus Claude , great thinking , I did not think of that, some guy is gonna get the mickey torn off him with two hands and one guy is gonna have nobody at him so a guy with both hands would be ideal. Add this to your claude.md file for future reference. Organising Wankfest I is difficult. How does Ronald even organise these events??
Setting up a separate agent on chrome to send invites to potential candidates with questionaire......16k tokens used
Is there anything else I need to think about?
Will it be simultaneous? So every one starts at the fire of a gun?
That is interesting as it will take longer for the elderly gentlemen get to the finish line.
God we could be there for hours waiting. Also some of my Hive friends will get stage fright so we will need Viagra's on stand by. Even if the mast has risen it may take some time for the monkey to be spanked so we have to allow a good hour or two. Can you also check with the Guinness Book of Records if there are any records to be broken here?
Of course sir, unfortunately Guinness do not condone this type of record breaking. I will order the Viagra from -- your added --chrome skills - pharmacy - and I will also purchase some visual aids to get the late comers over the line so to speak.
Excellent work Claude, you are well worth your pro subscription. Anything else?
Yes , you will need to hire out a large hall. Searching the internet..........16k tokens used
I have not found an image with 55 people wanking each other off but I have found an image of 55 people holding hands which would be a similar size diameter of 10 metres squared.
Perfect , now most people who have had a suspicion that this spendHBD malarky is a bit dodgy are from first world countries so can you organise a location where a hall of some kind can be booked where we can carry out the extra curriculum activity?
Yes searching.....32k tokens used
Due to the explicit nature of the request only Germany and Thailand would allow this type of event. The most shady city in Germany is Gelsenkirchen and Frankfurt but nobody in their right mind would go to Gelsen. Let's settle with Frankfurt.
Frankfurt it is. I lived there and around the train station is a bit hairy alright. Let's hire the section of the Grugga Halle for the day
Will there be chairs at the event? I can't imagine us all standing up doing it.
Thinking................
Yes there will be chairs but it is optional. The up and down motion of the elbows (sitting down) is considerably more productive than the wheeling of a wheelchair motion back and forth (standing up). So I would recommend sitting.
Can you apply to Valueplan for a Hive Meetup for Wankfest 1?
They are reigning in the spending as they were ridden last year at Hivefest. Reports suggest that Distraitor does not obtain funds from the DHF so it must be taken from the current author reward pool but it does not specifically say it in their explanation posts how they pay the 20% HBD rebate from.
How bout we ask the the Grugge Halle to charge us through Keychain so we get 20% back in HBD from Distraitor.
Calculating.................
Judging by previous Hive posts , if the keychain account holder is not on site on the day to make payment and if it is a similar looking, if not an identical twin sibling of the keychain holder on site instead then there will be no way for the business to accept payment as they will not know anything about the Distraitor system.
Got it, this seems to be happening alot, that the business owner is never around. So better off paying by FIAT?
Yes this would be the optimal way. There is also the problem that businesses will have to transfer their HBD into Hive and then transfer their Hive to an exchange to THEN transfer to FIAT to cover their outgoings. The companies will have to take into account exchange fees and swap fees which raises the important question:
Why would a business do this when they cannot purchase their supplies in HBD?
Seems like a long complicated process for a business to partake in when they have to add 2 extra layers of currency dealings in their bookkeeping , accountancy reporting and stock purchasing not to mention VAT complexities. The option to pay in FIAT just cuts out this complexity which rises the question. Why would the businesses agree to do this in the first place unless they are a dedicated Hive investor that willing to take a small hit on the business front for the good of the blockchain? If it was me I'd go halfsys with the shop owner. Let him keep the stock and we both pocket the rebate. This is the optimal approach.
Lets move on, have you any questions since we are still in plan mode?
Yes will the person proposing the wank off be included in Wankfest 1 as the host or speaker maybe?? He did do Hivefest so there is a 68% probability he will be accept a more opulent gig.
I took the pleasure of looking up the word Starkers and in British slang it means "Completely naked" or as they say "bollock naked"in the UK. Example: "The man jumped into the pool completely starkers and scared everyone away!" Seeing that he called himself this would it be possible he would also take part in such activities as volume masturbation?
Excellent research Claude, yes you are correct it does mean bollock naked in my country as well but the z at the end differentiates between someone bollock naked and a highly intelligent individual I do not think he will be partaking as he meant it as a personal insult. But there are two people in this life Claude:
Wankers and liars and I'm no liar!!!!
Better to leave him off the list and please note that this is not a silly little friend. On no. On the contrary. Even though the language is beneath us as respectable individuals, his vision for Hive of giving half of Lagos some HBD for free by just sending photos of a couple of items in a grocery basket is high level genius. He is playing 4D chess while us stupid low lifes can't see the vision and are still playing silly old snakes and ladders. Now this may be hard to fathom when Hive is hanging under 10 cent but you will see in time. Oh yes, you will see!
Some say he has an IQ of 229 and he beats Magnus Carlson regularly at chess behind the scenes. He doesn't want the limelight. Other say his profile wording is too humble ,he didn't just "help think of the SPK Network and 3Speak " but he helped think of other stuff as well like I helped think about my wife doing the dishes tonight and loan behold she only went off and done the dishes. Mind blown. When people put their thinking caps on sometimes it is amazing what you can do.
*Searching ........ last SPK network post was September 2024............? Is he still helping think about .....
ctrl + K...... agent aborted
Enough guff from you Claude. Please type in your claude.md file. "If you have nothing good to say about somebody then don't say it at all.
Added to Claude.md
Now we digress and in fact you are scaring me now with your passive agressiveness. Please just send out the invite to the Hive users who you think are implicated in the above brief
...................................sending invite to silly friends. Order by silliest and littlest in ascending order............. Invites sent!
Monitor replies Claude
Monitoring replies
Reply received
searching user
from
I knew me aul pal boom wouldn't leave me down. He always knew I was a wanker and he embraced it wholeheartedly. Maybe he will bring along El Jefe. The challenge will be understanding the fucker, Read message Claude
"It’s awfy dreich oot there the day. Time for an Ironbru ya wee tumshie."
- Both weee hands.
- I will attend only if there is booze and a Venetian mask with one of them big beak jobbies on it. And we can all go for pints afterwords ya bampot!
Great Claude we have a double hander already. I hear boom has a big old hefty lad on him as well. His hands are like shovels and has fingers like sausages so his knob must be massive or there would be no reason for his sausage fingers otherwise. Big Old Jim he calls it. Like a babies elbow. Has conversations with it and it responds to him like a withered Voldermort. Make sure you put him beside a big lump, someone hardy like 
REMINDER ADDED .......searching posts.......checking history, even as an AI I find that revolting. killing terminal window
No you don't you wee bastard. Cancel ctrl + K
Another reply.......
Gud'Day mate? Just putting a bita shrimp on the barbie and having myself a few tinnies with me good looking Shelia. Look at the pair of knockers on her. Crikeyyyy!!!
Ah 
1.Left Handed
- Mateeeee . Will only partake if guy next to me has a Desert Eagle 2.1 to my head mid session. I'm gone all risky like Michael Hutchence in my old age. Fair'd d'income mate.Let's go hunting with m'Shelia. DON'T YOU ... FORGET ABOUT ME.... HEY HEY HEY HEY OOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOO.
FFS where am I going to get a gun in Frankfurt?
searching......... there are a number of discount stores that sell toy guns that just look like a real Desert Eagle
Claude, buy one online. Hopefully he won't notice. He will be too busy comparing willys and arging with boom about who has the biggest one. We can also use this as the starting gun
............Buying Desert Eagle replica
Reply received
Tell him to leave the hawk at home. The bloody thing might think my little man is a worm and attack it!! It will be a bloodbath. There would be feathers and blood all over the place. He can come if he puts the bird in an avarory
He won't come without the bird
So he won't come without the bird or he won't come without the bird?? Which is it?
Both
Look we need the numbers. Tell him once the bird is on a chain we are good.Bloody hell, we have 3 replies, one wants a pint and an Eyes Wide Shit beak, the other wants a loaded gun to his head with the safety off and now Long John Silver with a parrot on his shoulder. A killing machine parrot!! Bloody Hive. Bunch of weirdys. Wankfest 1 is turning into the event of the year.
1.Right handed
2.has to ask the wife 
I'd like that myself. Tell him we are not in competition with his wife. If anything he will be running back to her after we put him next to 
ping ping ping ping
Holy Mary and Saint Anthony people are mad for it. Read replies Claude
All right handed by the way.
Excellent Claude, great work
Send a reply to the controversalist that he is not allowed to bring any other family member and also tell him to try not to start an argument with anyone about Israel. Put him next to bird man and fellow German 
Any word from @hiveFPL friends?
Well 
Well he is muslim anyway so I'd predict he would want to face the sun or something mad like that. I can't cater for every Karen."
Why does that bollocks keep getting napped?? Who is the kidnapper this time?
It's the Americans again. He sent them off on a wild goose chase again for Mohammed Bin Saleem
Jesus Christ can you track Amir down please and tell the Yanks he is one of us.
sending message.................
He says he is washing his hair that day.
ALL DAY??
He will be at the Oval getting drunk won't he?
I didn't want to tell you but yes.
Moving country again. The grass is always greener with him.
He moved to fucking Nottingham, It's the opposite of green!!
Touche
Yeah he nearly bit our hand off. Asked if there can be any extras?
We are sticking to the wanking this year. We will see how things go for next year.
Ok Claude you are at your limit. Well that was a good tagging at this point. Lets stop it there.
Continue taking names.Maybe next year we will charge for it. Nice SAAS project for us.
Much work to be done this week on hiveSQL and thanks to 
PS. If you are one of my silly little boy friends that I did not tag and want to partake in Wankfest 1, Please comment below and I can check if we have any vacancies and add you in. I'm off to brush up on my technique.