Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of humour and rambling
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and idea
And I was 'round when 
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that
Washed his hands and posted his date
Say your prayers, little 
To include everyone
I tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sad
'Til the 
Post with one eye open
Gripping your keyboard tight
Exit light
Enter night
Take my hand
We're off to COM land
There's a lot to unpack here, full upvotes to anyone who figures it all out first.
I'm a little rusty so be gentle