I'll start by saying that the last 24-36 hours have been pretty stressful, and honestly, have really put me down mentally and emotionally.
After doing what I thought was right at a business I worked for (I won't go into full details, but other employees were being basically held a gun to their head to take a 50% pay cut or get fired THAT DAY), after giving up a lot of things to work for this company - I decided to take a stand.
I called out the owner, and despite being a managing partner, was told to "get the f*&k out". I reached out to a few other members and received even further confirmation that they weren't receiving their paychecks on time, yet still expected to work, etc.
Yet, the CEO had messaged me saying he had the funds to afford a $500/hr dev as long as we needed to write our next smart contract.
Shady? That's not even scratching the surface.
There was a lot of other BS going on, which I won't get into...I have screenshots and proof, but smearing isn't my aim here. Reflection and growing as a human from this situation is my goal (while hopefully also helping others reading this avoid similar situations in the future).
That was the first gig that I was let go of. I had worked with them for about 6 months and had even quit a super stable gig (making 75k+) a year that I had worked for nearly 13 months. I did this because I felt this new company aligned with my long-term goals more and that in the long term, I'd be happier. Even the owner of the previous business was happy for me, and didn't once make me feel bad or talk negatively towards me. A true gentleman and leader. Thank you, Eric.
However, this lead to the 2nd issue.
While working for business 1, many pay cuts were made over the past 3 months, due to massive mismanagement of company investor funds we raised (which only the CEO had 100% control over - we didn't even have a dedicated CFO).
With these cuts, some concessions were obviously made - 1 major one being that I was more than welcome to find work on the side, equating to the amount of pay cut (in terms of %) that I took (which was easily 65-75%+). Of course, I took full advantage of that immediately, posting ads and reaching out to prospects to find some new gigs.
Shortly after, I was approached by a prospect - and funny enough, it was someone who at one point, had been a massive (initial) investor in the original company I worked for. He knew this, he saw my work ethic in the original company, and he wanted me on his new team. He asked if it would be a conflict of interest (it wouldn't since it was completely unrelated niches, AND I even let the CEO of company #1 know and he was cool with it).
So I began work, as usual, spreading my time across both companies, with both understanding that I was allocating my time between the two as agreed and within respective terms.
Fast forward 4 weeks. Things at company 1 are going downhill fast. CEO announces a full layoff of everyone within 2.5 weeks if we can't raise at least a million dollars through ANOTHER venture (where we had to fake our identities/completely pretend we weren't associated with company #1). This was against my morals 110%.
I focused on the new client I was working for. Things were going well.
A few days ago, things went south - and I was let go. After standing up for my fellow employees, I was told to immediately leave. The CEO owed me money for expenses, and also the massive pay cuts that I had taken, and I was in control of all hosting of services/etc.
I asked for what was rightfully owed, and was abruptly told to piss off and that I wouldn't be paid a penny. So I made my next move.
I powered off all servers and took everything off Github, keeping copies of course (to return) once he came to his senses. I was Director of Operations and in charge of all servers/billing/software and tech we used/etc. All billing was run through virtual cards that I set up and had 100% control of.
He made threats to "smear me" (I have tons of screenshots of his behavior and things that would absolutely destroy his attempts at this), he tried hiring a hacker, etc etc - to no avail. Eventually, he had his "wife" reach out and try to smooth the situation over.
I told her very simply that I would return everything (domains, all site files, etc) once I was made whole for expenses and money owed - that I had been paying out of pocket on my own cards for MONTHS. He owed me a lot of money both for server/team expenses, and also my salary.
After resolving this and returning everything, I informed my other client (since he was bound to find out due to being an investor in the other company) - I informed him of all of the shit going on internally (there's a lot more dark shit that I'm not sharing here for legal reasons), and he said that I had nothing to worry about/etc.
24 hours later, I get a message saying I'm no longer a member of the 2nd project either.
Naturally, I was angry. I tried my hardest to vent internally or only to friends/family/people close to me that could understand me. But ultimately, I felt wronged.
I felt that by standing up for others and doing what I thought was right, that I was ultimately punished, while everyone else got exactly what I fought for (later confirmed by someone I still maintain contact with).
Essentially, I felt like I sacrificed my financial well-being and position to ensure others maintained theirs.
I felt wronged and jealous and angry and ultimately disappointed by the human race at first.
But - I woke up today, had my coffee, checked my email, and realized that I had FAR fewer work messages to answer. Things were way calmer than they normally were. Something in me clicked today about the situation.
You can do the right thing, and still, be treated as an outcast and shunned by society. Look at Snowden. Assange. These are people that personally, I feel deserve far better than they've received after sharing the information they've shared. No matter your political stance on this (I don't want this to turn into a political thread) - that's my view.
I simply feel that they were destroyed for doing the right thing - which makes me sad. Sad that the world we live in does this.
That we'd rather keep quiet to maintain our paychecks. Or because we don't want to be ostracized by others. Or lose our social lives. Whatever the situation may be - fear is what prevents 99.99% of people from doing what's right, when potential negative consequences await them for making those decisions.
But this taught me that no matter what, I won't stay silent. I'm not perfect. I've made a ton of mistakes in my life. I have a lot to atone for - and I'm trying. Day by day, I try my best to do at least 1 thing that helps someone else, even if just a little bit - because we live in a world where so many are only out for themselves, and everyone else is fodder for their own cannons. I can't and won't live like that anymore.
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Thankfully, I still do have some income, so I'm okay for now.
I still do have 1 freelance client, who is completely independent of the previously mentioned clients and is hiring me to build a web app after the front-end website is complete this week.
The irony here is that I had even admitted to a close friend a few days before that long-term, web design/dev was NOT the career path that I wanted to follow.
In fact, I honestly couldn't tell you WHAT I want to do. I know that travel is in my blood. I know that adventure, exploring, seeing, tasting, trying something new - that's me. I think finding and building a way to generate income around that - whether through writing, or building my online e-commerce platforms (I do enjoy this thoroughly, and have for years, although I set it aside for a long time), would be a great start. I'm passionate about trying my hand at new things, whether they succeed or fail. Learning is how we grow, and I'm addicted to growing as a human.
HIVE could be an amazing start to this. The book I've announced I'm writing could be a huge start to this. There are so many paths in life I could follow, where I'm happier, and far more in control of my own destiny, compared to being a freelance dev/designer, and still being at the beck and will of "the man".
I really don't know. I apologize if this was a bit of a rant.
What this has shown me, though, is two things:
My recently diagnosed ADHD has a profound effect on how impulsively I react to events in my life. I need to get a much better grip on this - and I think a solid solution is through creating a bullet journal (something I've been talking about for a few weeks, but have yet to actually act upon). It's time to take action.
To realize that if something isn't making me happy - it's time to let go of it. Even if I think I need it to pay the bills. Or to fill the void of unhappiness even though it doesn't ACTUALLY MAKE ME HAPPY. Or whatever the fuck it is in life that I think I need it for - change is good. Let go of the shit that brings you down, take a step back, breathe, write, think, and figure out what it is YOU WANT IN LIFE. Once you've done that, chase it. Every step you take, every decision you make, every dollar you save, invest, allocate - plan on doing it in a way that brings you even 0.1% closer to your dream life every single day. If you do this, in 10 years, you'll be living the life you've always wanted - and with the power of compounding, this could be far, far sooner.
The choice is yours, friends. I've had a lot of time to think and contemplate this simple fact.
...and now I realize that the choice has ALWAYS been mine. I've just let other shit cloud my judgment.
Well, no more.
Much love, friends.
-TradingDojo / nulledgh0st