Between regretting working so hard and not working hard enough, the former seems more impactful, in terms of going above and beyond for things that ultimately don't matter much in the grand scheme of things.
For context, I listened to this video which talked about a book written by a nurse reflecting her time with dying patients, and one of the key takeaways was many of them, i.e the patients, wished they didn't work so hard.
At first, I was really surprised hearing that. Why would someone regret this when working hard is one of the main ways that we get to squeeze the juice out of life, so to speak?
But then, it later occurred to me after listening why that this regret of working so hard primarily stems from extensively working on the wrong things.
One possible wrong thing here could be working so hard to maximize material wealth at the expense of other wealth verticals like health and relationships.
Way too often and especially when entering the workforce, arbitrary numbers to reach arbitrary levels start sprouting in our minds that put us on track to get us trapped in cycles of endless striving without clear purpose.
I think the fundamental framework of needing material wealth to live a materially comfortable life isn't the issue per se, as it's basically the challenge of our times.
Although also, the cost can be too high of a price to pay given what's exchanged in terms of time/effort for money, has been trending downwards, disproportionately requiring more of you on one side of the trade (input) with less tangible value in return(output).
Subjective Impressions
Think the core issue is assimilation, losing a real sense of direction and by extension boundaries.
We become prisoners of other people's definitions of success if/when we absorb societal expectations wholesale without filtering them through any possible individual filters of our own.
This assimilation process is insidious because it feels natural, since we adopt the metrics and milestones around us as if they were our own discoveries.
Without authentic self-direction and/or any sense of boundaries, work expands to fill all other aspects of our live that aren't necessarily work such as our identity, leaving little space for the relationships, experiences, and personal growth that typically matter most in retrospect.
The tragedy is that people worked so hard within frameworks they never questioned until the spell gets broken up by moments of clarity, which often happens too late in their journey.
At this point in time, I'm more familiar with the regret of not working hard enough. I wish what I know now was known five years ago. Perhaps, I will be five years ahead than where I'm at now.
It's all subjective impressions based on presumptions of what could have been if I had acted differently.
Arguably the best framework I've come across about working hard is from Naval's philosophy of finding work that aligns with your unique talents and passions, where effort feels like play and creates value for others.
This puts the axis right back into the individual to decide or find a way to reach the point where they can make a decision on what to work on.
You have time but you have no time to waste.
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