Few bonds can develop as deeply as those formed with a person that you have placed your life and physical safety into the hands of. These relationships are fiercely forged in the white-hot flame of conflict and dire physical altercations. They change who you are and lay the impenetrable foundations of life-long friendships. This is the epitome of the relationship I share with my best friend. And though we go long stretches (years sometimes) without contact our bond will remain eternal and can best be characterized as a natural easiness with each other.
We have seen each other at our best and our worst and there is absolutely no judgment in that knowledge. It is not uncommon to receive a call from him in the middle of the night for me to settle a bar argument he is having across the world even though I haven’t heard from him in months, yet the conversation is just as if we spoke earlier that day. The older I get and the shorter my days left to traverse this world, the more I realize just how rare the quality of our friendship is. We have shed blood together on the urban battlefield and shed tears with each other after we had to zip the body bags on three infants who perished in a burning vehicle. These are not moments that can be comprehended by most and we survived our demons through the strength of our friendship. Our eyes have seen what humans should not and our souls carry the burden of what our eyes have lay witness to.
We shared a bond prior to working together and since middle school, fate has placed us in each other’s path on so many serendipitous adventures. If memory serves me correctly (far less often nowadays..lolol) we first met on the competitive practice field of middle school American football and played on the same team throughout high school. We both came from rough, humble backgrounds but our personalities were fairly opposite. He struggled a decent amount with academics and flourished at athletics and I was fortunate enough to understand the methodology of school “teaching” yet had to work twice as hard as everyone else on the field to get the same results. We fell into a natural symbiotic relationship of being a reinforcement for each other’s weaknesses. And though we were close friends our deep bond would form later in life. He was able to get a scholarship to play football at a small southern college and I couldn’t afford school so I began some of my early life working experiences. We would catch up in passing through the years until fate would bring us back together in the most dynamic of ways.
My friend was in law enforcement a year or so before I was and was working at a neighboring agency when I began my career. It was only a year or so later that he married a co-worker of mine and eventually joined our department and we were assigned the same shifts and days off. Our old football camaraderie started as if it had never ended and the trials and tribulations of the travesties we encountered forged what our friendship is today. We worked together for many years and eventually he was able to escape the police career and moved a few states away. We still talk occasionally but it is always easy and like we just left each other’s side. We both intimately know the distant look that tells of the demons of our past slyly whispering in our ears about “what could have been” of perceived mistakes made when trying to save someone yet seeing that light fade from their eyes as the beg with every ounce of strength for you not to let them die. And though our friendship may have been formed from the most traumatic of experiences it is as strong as any friendship that exists and it is ours and no matter how alone I walk my path, I know he “knows” me of what I’ve given and taken from my experiences, for he has walked it as well.
Thanks for reading about my best friend and it is my sincere hope and prayer that you have a friend like this and if you don’t that God places one in your path.
All That Is Gold Does Not Glitter,
Not All Those Who Wander Are Lost
-Tolkien
