Hello, fellow Homo sapiens! (unless you’re a bot. Hi to you as well, I guess?) This is Eisha Shetty and she has not the slightest idea as to how she is going to introduce herself and you’ll know why. 👀
A “wild child tiny rebel” is how a professor described me once. Honestly, I do not know how people manage to put themselves in categories because I do not know what I fall into. If this makes any sense - I’m a potpourri of contradictions who is the ‘calm in chaos’ but ‘chaos in the calm’. I can talk to you for hours together about geopolitics and international law while twerking on Shakira’s hips don’t lie. I have been that secretary of DEBSOC but also that clown backbencher for as long as I remember. I have the personality of an immature crackhead who lives like there’s no tomorrow mixed with that of an officer in suit on a mission. I aspire to either become an Indian Diplomat representing India at the UN or a farmer with a sustainable lifestyle - there is no in between!🤷♀️
Born in Mangalore, brought up in Bombay, graduated from Bangalore and moved to Delhi (COVID brought me back to Mangalore. So there’s a mini pause to this whole city hopping madness) Every city has left a mark and moulded me to this complex yet easy person which I believe is a beautiful mess. I have been fortunate to come across a plethora of people and experiences, giving me countless crazy stories that I hope to put to words on this platform.
You’ll see me jamming to anything and everything from AC/DC’s Back in Black to Sheila Ki Jawaani. I love elephants and clouds and people and stories and skincare and law and economics and rainfall and balloons and pole dancing and - you get the point, right?
I dislike cockroaches🤢(Why are they on this planet anyway!) , bouquets (please explain the utility of flowers that are wrapped in plastic, please?) and pants (I can whine about pants to you for as long as you can take it). People who confuse feminism with misandry get on my nerves.
Dancing brings me solace❤️ Cleaning mess is my low budget therapy. The constitution of India is my favourite book. I cannot sing to save my life. I draw like a five year old (my tree looks like a banana and a banana like a fish). I love salads and aloo parathas. I don’t go to the movies because I cry like a baby at anything and everything. I am in love with Peralta from B99 and often quote one of the finest philosophers of all time - Baburao Ganpatrao Apte. I roast people who I love to bits. I am a hundred percent capable of going missing for weeks, only for you to find me in some corner of the country - been there done that!
I have a million pet names (each one having a background story) but I am mostly called SHETTY. I have a million hobbies ( that’s just a cool way to say I cannot keep my arse idle, for a long time). Gatecrashing weddings and dancing at random people’s ‘sangeet’ gives me cheap thrills. Babies clenching my finger with their hands, makes me melt (No. I do not like kids. Those little monsters freak me out). I hope to never not do something that I’d cherish in the times to come. Why, you ask? So that - If and when I take my last breath and ask myself - what’s up Eisha? How was life? I smile to myself and say - Life was kickass, wasn’t it?🥲
Before I conclude - A huuuuuge shoutout to this beautiful girl 
If you’re still reading this - I love you.
If you’re not reading this - I still love you.
Basically, I love you. K byeeeeee.🕺