Another week, another update. Emotionally, last week has been a rollercoaster. I wouldn't say it was a 'bad' week, but there is just so much going on in my head that it makes me feel restless. I don't really know where to put these thoughts or what to do with them and therefore, I try to distract myself with random things like baking, bike rides, and scrolling through Social Media. Having my personal entertainer 
Monday
In my previous update I told you about the bbq that I had to leave early because it was still too much for me. On Monday I was still exhausted from it, so I didn't do anything special besides grocery shopping and laying in bed and on the couch. Luckily, Ruben is always willing to help me and get me in a better mood, so we talked about what happened the day before and how we can handle such events better in the future. It's really helpful for me to talk about what's going on in my mind, especially because I've never experienced the fact that I could openly talk about my (sometimes weird) thoughts and feelings and the other person not be judgemental about it. It truly is eyeopening.
Every week, Ruben and I make a plan together for what we're going to eat that week. That way I'll have an overview for when I go grocery shopping, and we don't have to think about what we are going to eat every single day. Monday was Ruben his turn to cook. While I like to keep things simple for dinner, Ruben likes to go all out. Especially when he cooks Indonesian meals. Because of my eating disorder, I sometimes find it hard to eat things that I don't specifically like or that don't fit my disordered 'plan'. Those things can be certain food groups, but also certain combinations of food, e.g. meat and eggs in one meal. As you may or may not know, eggs and meat are often used together in the Indonesian kitchen. And even though my eating disorder hates it when it appears on my plate, the true Dymph likes it very much. It's a joy whenever Ruben cooks, both smell-wise and taste bud-wise. Just look at that! Coconut rice topped with spicy baked green beans, spicy chicken satay, a boiled egg in a sweet soy sauce (which also was spicy lol), and some plain cucumber on the side to freshen it up.
Someone couldn't wait until the photo was taken. I won't call names though 👀 Tuesday
On Tuesday I had the first appointment for my eating disorder treatment. Even though I looked forward to it, it was also kind of freaking me out. Ruben and I went together since I find it very helpful for him to be there during appointments. My brain can be a sieve sometimes, so it's nice to have him next to me to appoint the things I forget to tell.
Almost three months ago I was assigned to both the inpatient and outpatient waiting lists. I'm in 1st place on both of those waiting lists, but we'll have to wait until someone else is ready with their treatment, before I can start. For now, it seems like I'm going to start with the outpatient treatment on the 8th of August. If I make some process during the outpatient treatment, I don't have to follow the inpatient treatment anymore. But I guess we'll just have to wait and see how everything goes.
Later that day I received a new pair of shoes, which I wanted to have for a very long time. The original price was too high for me, but because they were on sale (a discount of €100!) I felt like this was my chance. Unfortunately, something went wrong with the payment when I tried to order them for the first time. This happened on a Saturday, so I had to wait until Monday before I was able to get in contact with customer service. Usually, this wouldn't be a big issue, but because I wasn't sure if they still would be on sale on Monday, I was very impatient with them not answering on the weekends lol. Anyway, they send back my money and I had to reorder them. At the end all worth the hassle, because they are just too pretty! I can't wait to style and wear them together with my clothes.
They were designed by the brand Copenhagen Studios. They sell all kinds of shoes, so you should check them out if you're interested in pretty footwear. A funny detail is that they call the color of these shoes Eggshell, which in my opinion describes the color perfectly.
Wednesday
Ruben and I have to catsit the cat of his brother and sister-in-law. They are on a two-week holiday and they say you can't leave a cat that long without food and water, so ;) We are allowed to use their house as our second home/vacation home during their holiday, which is very nice since the house is way bigger than ours + they have a little garden.
I wasn't feeling too well Wednesday morning. From the moment I woke up I was annoyed with everything and everyone, but especially with myself. I decided it was the perfect moment to head over to my brother-in-law's house, so Ruben and I would both have some time for ourselves. I drank a cup of tea, watched some Youtube, and headed back around lunchtime.
While I think it's great to catsit Mila (their male cat), I think he feels otherwise...
"Don't you dare to come closer human"We know from experience that Mila isn't the most friendly cat. There have been times that he jumped on my lap or that I was allowed to pet him. But I'll always be wary of him scratching me or grabbing my arm, so I keep the appropriate amount of distance until he decides otherwise.
Thursday
My mom texted me last week that she needed new clothes and asked me if I would like to come shopping with her. I doubted if I was able to enjoy it, but eventually, I said yes, so last Thursday she came over to Enschede to go on a little shopping spree together. My mom is always very insecure about her body and what clothes she can and cannot wear, so sometimes she needs a little push to buy something out of her comfort zone. After I convinced her that this dress looked really cute on her (and I truly think so), she decided to buy it.
I've been living in Enschede for almost two years now, but I never actually visit the city center to go (clothing) shopping. The city does have some nice shops though, so it's fun to go shopping now and then and see it from a tourist's point of view.
Friday
I wasn't feeling great again on Friday, so I pretty much stayed at home all day. Luckily, Dream Home Makeover dropped a new season, so I could binge-watch that all day. I came across this show during the beginning of Covid, when we got stuck at home for the first time. It's a very easy show to watch since you don't have to follow specific characters and storylines. I always like to have a TV show like that on hand when my brain has stopped working.
Even though the show feels super American to me, I do like how they turn personal spaces into something beautiful, yet practical. The interaction between the couple, Shea and Syd (the brain(s) behind those makeovers) is super fun to watch as well. So if you are into design, makeovers, and some lifestyle TV, you should check it on Netflix.
Saturday
It was forecasted that the weather would be very nice on Saturday. Because I wanted to enjoy the Summer weather, Ruben and I decided to have dinner at his brother's house that day. They have a small city garden, but in my opinion perfect for getting some vitamin D. Ruben needed to finish work stuff first, so I went by myself a little earlier.
For dinner, I prepared Israeli couscous with fresh greens, herbs, feta cheese, and nuts and seeds. We both enjoy eating that dish and it's perfect for when it's hot outside since you have to serve it lukewarm.
After dinner, we played a few games on the Playstation. We don't own one ourselves, so it was fun trying out different kinds of games. We started by playing Crash Bandicoot. I used to play that game when I was a little girl, so playing it now brought me straight back to my childhood. Even though I sucked at handling the controller, I did enjoy playing that game.
After playing Crash Bandicoot for a while, we searched for some other games that we could play. We came across Brawhalla, which we've played together on the PC before. We decided to play a few rounds against each other, but after Ruben got his ass beaten too many times, we went on to look for other games.
We came across a game called 'The Quarry'. We thought it was some kind of horror-themed puzzle game, but it turned out to be an interactive movie in which you get to decide how the story will continue. At first, I thought: "it's probably just another 'horror' game, which won't be that scary", but once you you get sucked into the story, it's pretty thrilling. Especially if you play it at night, in the dark, with a growling cat behind you, lol.
Sunday
We decided to go to my brother-in-law's house again on Sunday because someoneeee got addicted to 'The Quarry'... Again, I won't call names:p Because I wanted to start writing on this post, I went earlier than Ruben did. He arrived around diner time and brought pizza and snacks with him.
We crawled underneath a blanket together to eat pizza and play 'The Quarry' again. My head was too full to be able to focus on the game/movie, but I did enjoy the quality time we had together last night.
I hope you enjoyed reading. See you next week!
Lots of love,
Dymph