I think when it comes to anything – anything that puts us in the shine, we always want to overdo it. Especially, in this era of gadgets and social media. Of course, people don't mind putting up their life on public display when Tiktok and Instagram are just one tap and everything's up for views and likes.
Be it anything — from the food we eat, the clothes we wear, our living or work space, our kind of friends, to how much we earn — we want people to know or at least see that we're on the soft side of life, and not at any disadvantage.
This pop culture of showiness has attracted ill fates to some people, after which they had to go slow or cut the crap altogether.
Modesty is a virtue people often learn in a hard way. I don't think it's innate. I don't think it's part of anyone's personality. Like most virtues it has to be learned. And for most it has to be learned hard.
People from humble socioeconomic backgrounds may think themselves to be modest. However, a change of that status usually reveals their true character.
Modesty isn't minimalism either, I think. Although minimalism can be associated with modesty, it's mostly about keeping things uncrowded, simple and comfortable. Whereas, modesty is about keeping bounds — both for oneself and others.
Modesty is self-respect. It's control. It's power. It is the signature of those who have mastered themselves and conquered their environment. They're not not moved by external opinions. They own themselves. Modesty doesn't seek validation. It simply is what it is.
Follow up on the lives of most billionaires, you'll see. They don't overdo it. Their fashion, their cycles, their vehicles, their family culture, their manner of conversation – everything screams modesty. Those folks have hacked it. They know what most people don't. Modesty is discipline, and that discipline gives them control.
There was a time I was carried by the winds of pop culture of flaunting and carrying expensive things about. I thought that was the only way to announce myself as the big boy. Then one day, I encountered a man.
He is one of my aunt's customers who often comes to buy cement riding on a bicycle. He would order as many bags as he wanted, make the payment and I would go do the supply.
One day, he called asking to supply fifty bags of cement at the site where he was laying the foundations for his fifth building. I delivered the cement and went to his house to get payment. There he was seated at the veranda drinking wine and grilled fish. He beckoned on me to come join him which I initially declined, but later joined because he insisted.
He narrated his “grass to grace” story and boy, I was blown. He introduced his family. Honestly, these were people I met almost every other day but never knew they came from such a wealthy home. They were modest in almost everything: their manner of conversation, their dressing, and values. Modesty is a culture, not many people have been really able to imbibe.
That day, I learned that wealth isn't necessarily loud. Modesty is peace. It's the best policy to keep a sane life. This man's take home word to me was this:
You cannot overenjoy what you're already enjoying
I haven't fully comprehended that statement but I think he was trying to say “be modest in all you do”.
(Picture used is mine)