This past weekend was more than a bit of a whirlwind, but during a few hour time block yesterday I found myself engaged in conversations that made me think more than a bit about a couple of things: How we get ourselves into trouble by choosing to throw a fit and how we do ourselves an injustice by making up our minds about things despite never having experienced them.
I'll start with the second thought first.
I have a very intelligent friend whom I spend quite a bit of time with. I absolutely adore this person and admire them a great deal, as they have overcome adversity and a horrible upbringing. That said, as we were snacking on freshly baked cookies and discussing the state of the world, I got a first hand encounter with the whole the stories we tell ourselves about the world thing.
This person vehemently stated that they hated resorts and that all resorts were the same. Now, I am not a huge fan of resorts for a few reasons, but what struck me was the definitiveness of their statement. They were stating their opinion as fact. What made it even more interesting to me was that they had never been to a resort.
In response I started asking a few questions. How could one have an opinion about all resorts if they had never even attended one? Going to another country is a scary proposition, especially if the country has a culture that is nothing like yours. Sometimes it's better to dip your toe into the shallow safe end of the pool before you hit the Olympic diving board and the deep end.
As I began to ask questions and delve into the matter further, I noticed my friend began to become more defensive regarding their assertion about resorts. Instead of becoming equally defensive or offended, I stepped back and refined my approach. It's amazing what saying, I don't know, I totally hear what you are saying, this is my experience can do to the tone of a conversation.
For so much of my life I would try to soothe any conversation I was in so that a person would feel comfortable or validated, but in all honesty, that's kind of a cowardly way to be, or at the very least inauthentic. I am a big, massive, yuge believer in throwing yourself into uncomfortable situations and traveling because it's how you learn. There's nothing more humbling or exciting to discover there are different things in this world than what you know.
When it comes to the fit throwing part of my daily experience, let's just say that I absolutely have a bias when it comes to fit throwing. I despise fit throwing. More often than not it makes whatever is going on three hundred times worse. And that's not saying I have never thrown a fit, I know we all do on occasion, but what occurred last night was a good lesson about not smearing the poo sandwich you just caught on your clean face.
Long story short, a kid we know who just lost his girlfriend due to bad behavior, also go kicked out of his living situation due to his behavior. All of this sucks and I feel for the kid because his start to life hasn't been the greatest, as in most of the adults in his life weren't stable or abandoned him rather than fostered his growth and development.
But, when something bad happens to you, you get to choose how to process it. And crashing your truck off the side of the highway because you are driving like a fit throwing rage maniac just adds to your not so great day. Not only that, your expression of anger could have harmed others besides yourself. Fit throwing can kill. Thankfully no one besides a truck was injured in the fit throwing exhibition, but after a long day filled with non-flexible thinking examples, let's just say that I think I will spend today with plants and animals...
And as most of the time, all of the images in this post were taken on the author's always in a zen state iPhone.