I feel blessed to have experienced such a wide range of experiences, and I’ve been many people over the years. Most new friends can’t imagine me getting angry, but the older friends know I used to have so much rage inside. I’ve done stupid things and gone through phases of trusting too easily and phases of trusting absolutely no one. My lifestyle has changed many times and so has my thought process.
Basically my life has been one of trial and error. Rather than falling into a pattern and leaving the rest up to luck, I’ve tried to design my life and even my own personality in a way that feels natural but also one that creates abundance and maintains positive relationships.
I hate to say it, but we all end up a little broken along our journey. We develop habits that don’t serve us and may hurt others or ourselves. We don’t always choose the life we want to choose, sometimes we take the path that requires as little change as possible because It’s scary to change, and sometimes we don’t even realize just how much we can change.
This is why I’m so focused on self exploration. I want to know everything that’s going on inside myself and to change the things that don’t resonate with a better version of myself. While I don’t think we need a new iPhone every single year, I have no problem with trying to evolve and become a new version of myself every year.
My most recent project is digging into my fears.
I thought for a long time that I faced most of my biggest fears; fear of rejection, fear of failure and fear of death were the big ones. I haven’t rid myself of 100% of the fear, I don’t know if it’s possible, but I don’t stress about any of these any more.
With more reflection I see that there are other fears which may even be imprinted onto my DNA. They’re so deep in almost unaware of them because they just feel like part of me. That doesn’t mean I’m doomed to experience them. With work I can heal some of these fears and carry less weight, and that could even change how I experience life, my instinctual habits and my health and energy levels.
The idea is that momentary fear to help us survive, by avoiding a predator or some kind of disaster, this is just a part of being human and it can help us, but any fear that lingers and influences our decision making beyond that can hinder our quality of life, our state of mind or even our health.
By being ultra aware of my thoughts throughout the day and especially at night, I realized that I’m still scared of quiet, dark places, insects, and heights. These are all really natural things to be afraid of but if they aren’t serving a purpose, they’re just unnecessary extra weight on my body and emotions.
So I’ve been going out of my way to face these fears and the results are ASTOUNDING. I’ll go more into detail in a future post but in short: I’ve been sleeping better, generally more positive and full of energy throughout the day, I’ve made new discoveries that help me balance work and play, gathered up courage to do things I never thought I could do, and most shockingly, my back issues are noticeably less severe and I’ve found new ways to fix them!
It’s also added a layer of spiritual depth to my life. I can see how much is going on inside of me that I feel there is no way to ever get bored again. When there is nothing going on, I can take a trip inside of myself and learn something that might be beneficial to me or to others.
I want to share some of the processes I use to face these fears next time. Let me know what kind of fears you still have or which fears you have overcome.
We covered some of these topics in our last podcast episode:
