Emo dog image courtesy of m. auayan on Flickr
I used to take myself SO seriously. An emo kid before it was cool, my tagline was, "Nobody gets me."
It was a reaction to the rejection and humiliation I'd experienced throughout childhood.
"Fine, if you don't like me, I don't like YOU, either!"
And..."I'm just too deep for them." I saw my classmates as a bunch of Neanderthals whose weekends typically involved getting wasted at Charlie's Pasture—a literal mud flat where they'd do wheelies in their Monster trucks.
But of course, another part of me wanted desperately to be seen, accepted, embraced.
The main way I'd express myself was through my writing. So when the school newspaper (which I wrote for) came out, I'd watch as the copies were dropped at the front of the classroom, trying to psychically will my classmates to read my articles (unfortunately, mostly only the teachers read it).
When we wrote short stories in my senior English class, our teacher printed out all the copies, arranging them on desks. As my classmates picked up mine, I held my breath, waiting for them to tell me how "brilliant" it was.
But they'd each only read mine for a few seconds before setting it down, moving on to the next one. One even said (ironically) that my story was "too deep."
I was crushed.
So where does this inclination to take ourselves so seriously come from?
It comes from the need to prove ourselves.
And where does that come from?
The need for validation.
Which in turn comes from our need for acceptance, approval, love, and so on.
While all of us might not be angsty emo adolescents, I think most of us have gone through phases in our life where we were overly focused on receiving external validation in the form of awards, accolades, titles (Dr. Professor, etc.), and praise.
And you know what?
It freaking sucks.
Because we're always looking outside of ourselves for something that rarely comes.
And when it does, the moment of celebration is fleeting. Then it's on to the next thing.
But by doing this narrowing-down process that I just did, we can at least pinpoint the deeper desires that are driving our habits and tendencies.
And once we have that knowledge, what do we do about it?
I'll cover that in my next post.
In the meantime, check out my interview with Martha (my friend and a fabulous person) as we discuss—you guessed it—how to stop taking yourself so seriously and start having more fun!
Are you bored with life? In a funk? Have no fear, music is here! Click here for my free playlist of 12 songs to ignite your passion and set your soul on fire!