Often much of our pain in life comes from not being able to let go at the right time, figuring out how and when to let go is important but learning how to untangle your self from a situation so you can let go is a skill that takes practice and we often don't take the time to master it.
We don't see how attached we are to a person or thing until we are drained, hurt, and bruised, we stayed in a bad marriage, relationship, or job longer than we should have this caused recurring trauma almost on schedule.
Some thoughts on letting go.
- Gain perspective, if you are standing too close to the situation you won't truly see what is going on. It's okay to say I need a break or I need a moment to think. Often we are so busy fighting as hard as we can for something that we create more damage and sustain injuries beyond reason and logic.
There is nothing so urgent that you can't take a day or two to step back and assess the situation and come back better equipped to navigate the situation that is vexing you. Sacrificing 2 days to take a breather is worth it when you are looking at a downward spiral of a month or more if you stay elbow deep in a situation that is deteriorating with every new action. Life can quickly become all about the problem you are facing, we often forget to collect ourselves before trying again.
2)Appreciate and see your situation for what it is right now, not what it was. Imagine dropping your favorite glass on the ground.....you wouldn't keep drinking out of that glass with its jagged edges, would you? You can fondly remember something for what it was while accepting what it is now and mourning it for a moment before making room for something new.
3)When we hold on to certain things past their expiration date it can feel like death by papercut or drinking from a poisoned well. Do you have a friend who has slowly turned into a frenemy? Are you sitting in a job that has become a hostile place for you and will not allow you to grow from past mistakes or conflicts.....maybe it is time to move on because the version of you that shows up in that situation, constantly feeling under attack is not the best possible you. The chemistry in your brain will change, your fuse will shorten and you may start to act out of character, it might be time to go.
When do you think a person should let go of these three things; a job, a relationship a large project? How do you know just by the feel of a situation that it is time to walk away?