Year after year I look around and nothing has changed, but when I look back everything is different.
Change is inevitable, and we realize it's happening when we try to compare ourselves with a decade earlier versions of us.
When I was in 8th grade a teacher asked the whole class to tell about our aim in life. When my turn came, I said "I want to become a Software Engineer". I thought more girls of my class would like me if I would say that. I know it’s stupid. But I was stupid back then.
Then In 10th I wanted to be a Charted Accountant. By the end of 12th - a corporate professional. An Entrepreneur during college and many more things afterwards.
But I ended up becoming a Sales Guy, an Investment Banker and finally a self learned Digital Artist and a self proclaimed writer.
During my early teen years I desired to get acknowledged among my peers. I wanted to try everything that was stupid and fun, just for the sake that people would like me.
And I wanted to grow up fast. I wished that I sleep and wake up 10 years older. I wanted to be an adult, to be free to do what I want.
I cared about validation of people and what they think about me. And I cared about a lot of other things, none of which matters now.
And today 9 years into officially becoming an adult, I want to be a kid again. More than anything.
Thus, what we want to become is not always what we end up becoming. And even if we eventually become it, at times its no longer what we wanted to.
Our desires and expectations from ourselves keep on evolving as we grow and change. While we are trying to become someone specific, there is always a reorientation happening in the backend.
LIFE DIDNT COME WITH A USER MANUAL BUT MOST OF US ARE LIVING AS IF IT DID
When I was little I would try to get out whenever it rained. Deliberately.
My parents would ask me not to. “You would catch the cold,” they would say. But I would rebel, find excuses. Rain was fun.
Today whenever it rains, I hop on the streets and rush for a roof.
I try my best not to get wet. I grew up and suddenly they stopped being fun. Rains and flying kites and numerous other things. life need not to be this way.
We are billions of different living beings on this planet wanting more or less the very same things.
Most of our desires are a projection of beliefs of our parents and society on us - about what they think is a good life.
We move around with a baggage of expectations and an inherent obligation to prove ourselves in all walks of life.
We want to become best versions of ourselves. We want to become perfect.
But may be life's not about being perfect, its about being real.
Since I am trying to be one hundred percent honest and real with myself, my efforts have automatically started getting a direction.
I am accepting what's wrong with me and I am striving to make it right.
I am investing in relationships I genuinely want to nurture so I am developing constructive connections.
I am trying to do more of what I love so I am improving substantially.
I am stepping out of the cage and flowing freely.
I am becoming more of who I am. And I am loving every ounce of it.
This is my first post in 
Keep Hiving and Showering Love.
