Hello, everybody, Antoni here, and I am really happy to tell you that I am now in my healthy weight range. After years of diet yo-yoing, the wavering motivation, the denial of my own weight, and the realization of why I had to lose the excess weight in the very first place, I have finally accomplished what I have wanted to pursue for the longest period of time. Barely two years ago, I was at my second heaviest weight of 17 stone 3.6 lbs (241.6 lbs or 109.6 kg). I realized that it was time for major change, which further propelled my realization that I can live on less food, avert binging, be more physically active, and find healthier alternatives to my overall lifestyle. Keeping up with my weight loss progress one year on, I ended up losing 3 stone 1 lb (43 lbs or 19.5 kg), thus making me land at 14 stone 2.6 lbs (198.6 lbs or 90.1 kg). Speaking to all of you today, I have now lost another 3 stone 1.2 lb (43.2 lbs or 19.6 kg), thus making me now 11 stone 1.4 lbs (155.4 lbs or 70.5 kg) and clocking my total weight loss at 6 stone 2.2 lbs (86.2 lbs or 39.1 kg). I am so ecstatic and proud of myself for making it this far and I am greatly elated to know that I have a new lease on life which will last for a long duration of time.
My whole struggle with my weight has not been a story that was entirely new to me. I used to enjoy all types of food as a child, but the awareness of my weight started when I was doing ballet as a child from 5 to 10 years old. Being in ballet may have commenced my love of the performing arts, but I realized that I was one of the chunkiest children out of all my former colleagues in the ballet school I attended. Even when I looked back at the performances I was in, most notably one of the children from Tchaikovsky's "The Nutcracker", I realized that I could be a whole lot slimmer and I was even told that I should endeavor to lose a bit more weight if ever I were to pursue a career as a danseur. Thankfully, this was not going to be the case because, as much as I enjoyed my ballet classes after school and on the weekends, I knew fully well that I was not going to be a danseur in the future although I had an idea of how I should be able to control my body, especially when it came to dance, when it came to my participation in various school plays, and getting myself into physical activities such as rock-climbing, soccer, and basically participating in playground games with my school mates, classmates, and friends. With my experience of participating in a multitude of school plays and immersing myself into playing the violin, I knew how much I had to polish my craft in order to gain a sense of passion and determination through the fields I liked. My weight might have been a part of how I was going to look on stage, but it took a backseat to how much I had to practice my lines and be familiar with stage blocking and my growing ambition to want to be in the entertainment world.
The increased awareness of my weight began to perpetuate when I was a 12-year-old sixth-grader. Sure, I did start developing acne when I was an 11-year-old fifth-grader in the later stages of schooling, but the discourse of my youth was revolving around my weight. Ever since I tuned in to a lot of infomercials focusing on fat-free cooking, muscle-toning gadgets, and a huge bevy of weight loss products, I became more aware of what I was eating, even though I did not buy any of their products. A part of the motivation of why I wanted to lose weight and be acne-free mainly involved my passion for the performing arts, my dream of wanting to become an actor, a singer, and a voice actor, and how much scrutiny there was going to be should I step in front of the camera and/or go on stage. Coupled with my increasing love for anime and my first experience traveling as an unaccompanied minor to Oxford, I was starting to fully convince myself that I could and should be a lot thinner if I was more mobile and if I kept the will for independence top of mind as my motivation to keep losing weight and be healthier. This thought of me wanting to become thinner perpetuated when I was a 13-year-old seventh-grader from becoming more conscientious of calories to looking up to a lot of the Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, GMA, ABS-CBN, FOX, and ABC stars of the early to mid-2000s to even aspiring to become as thin as Jeff McCallister from Home Alone 1 and 2 and Edmund Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe respectively played by Michael Maronna and Skandar Keynes. Stretching the thinness appeal was my fascination of goth clothing as a means for me to express my creative and artistic side, especially where my love of literature and anime was concerned, and the equal appeal of having a dark, prosaic, gloomy viewpoint of the world around me. I even remembered during my middle-school swimming lessons that my instructor noted how loose my swimming trunks became on me, considering that I also tried to flatten my belly with the use of a Nestlé cereal drink which claims to reduce bloating. My middle-school battle with my weight was not as egregious as I thought it was because of how it was more of a prioritization of vanity rather than the health implications I would have acquired if I did not maintain a healthy lifestyle. Things were about to change when I reached high school.
My four years of high school have seen me going through achieving my personal joys of performing on stage mostly as a singer, part of my school's string ensemble, a fair amount of stage acting credits to boot, and a solid academic record which saw me attaining perfect attendance awards 99 percent of the time I matriculated, winning the neatest student award only one time, winning most responsible student only two times, acquiring an academic award only one time, winning a President's Award in ICT or Information and Communications Technology and Pearl Principle, which is my old school's version of values formation, two times from my second to third years of high school, but I still managed to graduate high school with honors, a loyalty medal, a violinist of the year award, a Little Prince award for best behavior, and a Best in Performing Arts award which I also won for the first time as a third-year high school student. It was also coupled with the occasional sense of loneliness, despite my strong social relationships I had with my colleagues and friends from various levels in high school, middle school, grade school, and college, the bullying I did receive because of how I was and my unusual way of walking which was due to my perpetuating weight problems, trying to be everybody's friend because I did not want my own reputation to suffer, and, most egregiously of all, being an conscientiously confused calorista. What did I mean when I state that I was a conscientiously confused calorista? On one day, I would endeavor to buy slimming teas and slimming products in the hopes of losing the extra fat around my body. On other days, I would be all types of eaters being a takeaway junkie, a secret eater, a boredom binger, a comfort eater, and a lover of huge portions. I even did attempt introduce salads in my first two years of high school when it came to in-class festivities. However, that attempt seemed lost on deaf ears. Because I was a confused calorista who was also part of the cheer-dancing team for four years straight, participated in fencing but did not compete, and tolerated playing soccer, my weight went up and down like a huge fulcrum or a metronome that went completely out of control. Worst of all, even though I did carry a sense of confidence, relatively high self-esteem, and certainty of my chosen field, I did not make myself a high priority let alone take better care of myself, thus leading me to be susceptible to crummy friendships, manipulation by one or more of my former colleagues, verbal abuse from a person I dare not name anymore specifically when they called me "a fail at life", failed prospects of romantic relationships, and a bevy of relationships that aged like sour milk. Looking back at my teenage years made me realize how much I had to make myself a priority and really take greater care of myself, love myself, and not put my physical, mental, and psychological health in jeopardy.
Just when I thought my emotional control over food was over after I graduated high school and turned 19 years old as well as seriously started learning German in order for me to move to Europe, I became lost in my direction of wanting to lose weight and be fitter. There was no doubt that I loved reading various Eat This Not That books, with my first one involving grocery items being purchased when I was vacationing with my family in Los Angeles, and I did learn a lot from them. The only thing that backfired was the portion sizes as well as the drinking. I was still a confused calorista. I even continued trying a lot of weight loss products and weight loss pills, weight loss drinks, slimming teas, and health drinks galore. I only realized now that it was my complacency that was part of why I was still in those horrid doldrums, especially when I weighed over 17 and a half stone (245 lbs or 111 kg). While I really enjoyed my time doing the one-year diploma programs of the performing arts as my vocational training in my old film school, the International Academy of Film and Television, my increased weight hindered me from living out my full potential as an actor and as an overall performer. I still blame myself for getting to that size instead of shrinking down to a more manageable weight when I was still between 19 to 20. However, I saw it as a means for me to be more determined to never fall back into my old eating habits and aspire to remind myself of what I was going to lose if I did not lose the weight. The one attribute I was going to lose should I not be at a healthier and more manageable weight was my independence and I did not want to lose that.
My life changed when I moved from Cebu to Berlin at age 20 and a whole new world of potential opened up for me as an online content creator inspired by a lot of my favorite online personalities and as a person. My newfound freedom meant that I did not need a driver to come pick me up and I could just use public transportation or even walk from place to place. Despite this freedom, the growing repertoire during my acting school years, and the absolute satisfaction I acquired from this freedom, this did not stop my eating habits from taking over. I recognized that there were many occasions where I was complacent with my weight, despite being relatively obese. It did not help matters that I was also a secret snacker, a takeaway junkie, and I was a slacker in the kitchen. My weight did find itself, yet again, going up and down and I was still in a lot of denial. Nevertheless, my physicality improved during the time I was in actors' training and I did see myself becoming more and more capable of doing certain physical stunts such as a cartwheel and a handstand to name a few. Even better, I was not ill in the slightest in stark comparison to when I was in the Philippines when there were occasions that I was feverish or had colds. Therefore, my health living here in Berlin improved dramatically and it was just the beginning.
Doing my Abitur meant that there was a lot more work and more high expectations to be piled on. Even though my channel was growing at a considerable rate and I was improving with every increment of my being during my Abitur, I realized that I was not doing myself any favors when it came to supporting food-related businesses but not myself when it came down to my weight. I dare not divulge too much as to what occurred back in Christmas 2018 when I was in Cebu and in Hong Kong, but let us just say that those moments made me realize why I had to lose weight and maintain a healthy lifestyle and an equally healthier diet in the first place. Even when I graduated my Abitur with a darn good average, I was still in a state of comfort eating, cooking with high-fat and high-carb ingredients, and lusting for takeaways. It was not until I reached my second highest weight of 17 stone 3.6 lbs (241.6 lbs or 109.6 kg) that I was in full horror as to what I did to myself. This was the straw that broke the camel's back when it came to losing the excess weight.
Acquiring an extension on my residence permit after securing a spot in Humboldt-Universität zu Berlin may have emitted sufficient joy, but the reality of my weight made me realize that, if I piled on any further weight, I could end up suffering a physical and psychological death. Cue a bevy of weight loss shows in the forms of "Fat Families", "Supersize vs Superskinny", "Secret Eaters", and "Fat Doctor" and a fine bevy of weight loss documentaries to make me fully aware of body mass index, portion sizes, and the overall effect my weight is going to have on me. The shows definitely inspired me to cut down on my portions and do a whole lot more exercise. Backed up by the research I did involving the UK's NHS and New South Wales' Get Healthy, I gained a cognizance of how much I should weigh for someone like me who stands at over 5 feet 6 inches. It all came to fruition when I was in Paris, Bordeaux, and Dresden that I started to adapt to walking rather than relying on public transportation to travel from one nearby locale to the other. Through adapting to this new regime and the inspiration I had from the weight loss and health shows and documentaries, I saw my weight go down gradually. I even realized that I can live on far, far less food and that I can never ever outrun a bad diet anymore. These implemented changes made me feel a whole lot happier and healthier than I ever did before for my 5-foot 6-and-a-half-inch (169-centimeter) height.
My odyssey concerning my weight loss taught me a lot of valuable lessons; I also have Bennett White aka Bennett the Sage to thank when it came to his weight loss video back in 2018. I can never outrun a bad diet even if I were to be sufficiently active. I need to be motivated and disciplined to want to lose the weight not only to look better but to also have a life of independence, good health, and prosperity. There are always going to be a multitude of reasons for weight loss, but there are occasions where one or more of these reasons could potentially fail me. Living a healthy lifestyle is eighty percent diet and twenty percent physical activity and weight has nothing to do with genetics. I had to formulate realistically attainable goals in order for me to ensure that I do not fall off the rocker even when times get really tough. Knowing my reasons of why I wanted to lose weight in the first place has made me accept that I had to take greater care of myself and make myself more of a priority than ever before. I can love my friends, my family, and all of you wonderful people who have been supporting me and my work, but, at the end of the day, I have to make myself a huge priority more than anybody else.
I would love to thank all of the participants and the hosts of "Supersize vs Superskinny", "Fat Families", "Secret Eaters", "The Food Hospital", and "Fat Doctor" for not only making me fully proud to be an Anglophile for life but also appreciating what I need to do in order to live as healthy as possible. I would also love to thank all of you, my friends, my family, my fans, and everybody I have been looking up to for inspiring me to encourage myself to live the healthy life I need to live. After years of struggling as well as trial and error, I can finally be so proud of myself for attaining a normal and healthy weight. I do not want to rest on my laurels, though. I want to keep making challenges for myself to continue losing more weight and end up at 10 stone 1.6 lbs (141.6 lbs or 64.2 kg) just so that I can end up at my long-coveted 7-stone-2-pound (100-lb or 45.4-kg) weight loss. While I could stand to lose one more stone (14 more pounds or 6.35 more kilograms), the most amount of excess weight I could end up losing ranges from 2 stone 1.5 lbs (29.5 lbs or 13.4 kg) to 2 stone 11 lbs (39 lbs or 17.7 kg) if only to remain in my healthy BMI range of 18.5 to 24.9. Dumping the takeaway food, the excess stodge and carbs, and the self pity has made me fully realize my potential.
I knew what it was like to obese. I have seen what obesity did not only to me but also everybody around me. I did not want to wallow in self pity or self mortification all the time. I needed to make the change and I am so elated to have done so. For those of you who are wondering if you can lose weight to live the healthy life you want to live, I have this to say. Of course, you can do it. You have to believe in yourself and you will achieve those goals beyond your wildest dreams. Furthermore, you will feel happier, healthier, and realize you can live life to the fullest complete with independence and a profound sense of prosperity, joy, and love.
