Three things I've been letting go of

This year, although it wasn't a goal I set for myself to achieve over the twelve months, it was something I decided to improve for the sake of my mental health. I'm referring to something more emotional than physical: stopping myself from reliving moments when I experienced emotional distress. In other words, I stopped replaying mistakes from my past or even mistakes others made against me over and over again in my mind.

I have to admit that it's always much easier for me to remember negative things than positive ones. Well, I think it's not just me, but I can only speak from my own experience. So I have memories from long ago about negative things that were done to me or that I did or said. And these things, especially at night, would come to my mind like an avalanche rushing to crush any positive thoughts.

So, the first habit I consciously decided to implement this year was not to allow my mind to wander to those bad experiences. Honestly, the result was always the same: I ended up sad, crying, or even experiencing physical discomfort. Which, obviously, does not help at all, and that is exactly what I think about every time one of these thoughts arises. Although it is sometimes difficult to control them, remembering that they only come to hurt me and that they serve no purpose helps me force myself to think about other things.

The second thing I stopped doing this year is also related to the first: I stopped comparing myself to everyone everywhere. Although I have always tried to avoid negative feelings such as envy, if I am completely honest, there were days when it was very difficult for me not to notice how well others were doing and how I was doing. This happened especially when I thought about my mental health; when I was going through a crisis or was having a moment when, due to my mental health, I couldn't cope well with the situation. Anyone around me, literally anyone, was a good candidate for comparison.

This bad habit only made me feel worse and worse, and I found it hard to be happy for the good things that happened to others, in this case, for the supposed "good mental health" they might have. Now I try very hard to remember that everyone has their struggles, and they are all different. Instead of comparing myself, I try to get to know others better; not to feel better because they are also having a hard time, but to be more empathetic and, if I can, to help.

Another thing I stopped doing, and this one is a little more physical, was trying to do everything at once, supposedly to make good use of my time. Sometimes life is very busy and the truth is that time is not enough, and you always have to be running. This led me to develop a wrong way of thinking: I felt that I had to do everything quickly and at the same time, filling my system with stress with the simple goal of making good use of my time.

Now, although I always try to be punctual, the truth is that if some things remain undone, that's less terrible than spending the day stressed or anxious because I forced myself to do a lot of things simultaneously. Life in general is already stressful because of its pace and everything else. So, every time I catch myself doing a lot of things to make good use of my time, I remind myself that I won't be able to do any of them well if I feel bad because of stress.

In all these changes, my main motivation is that it makes no sense to harm myself in any way. Just as I am considerate of the people around me, whom I love very much and try to get to slow down so they don't get sick or feel emotionally calm, I must also want that for myself. This has benefited me greatly because, as I mentioned before, I am now calmer and even some recurring stomach pains have disappeared.