Remember the good

Depending on who you ask, I might be someone who remembers everything or someone who remembers very little, but what I can say is that when something matters to me, I store every detail as if I were putting them in a personal box, and they're there for when I need them. On the other hand, when something isn't of interest to me, I forget it easily. No matter how hard I try to remember, I can't bring it back to my mind, and if I do manage to retrieve it, it's just fleeting glimpses, fragments, almost nothing.

So, according to this, there's a certain control over what we remember, and that has to do with the attention we give to the things we experience. I believe that if we spend too much time dwelling on unpleasant and negative things, our memories will surely return again and again to those negative experiences, and what's worse, since remembering is living, we'll be reliving sad, traumatic, and devastating events over and over again, just like the first time.

That's why I try, and often succeed, to only remember the good things, what I learn, the rewarding aspects, the useful things. Even from a negative experience, I try to remember the good things it left me with and even be grateful for what I experienced. For example, the last days of my nephew's life, who died of cancer, often come to mind. Remembering his illness and his premature death is so painful that it can make me sick. So, when those memories surface, I overlay them with the beautiful memories my nephew left me with: his smile, the stories he told me. Those memories make me smile and thank God for giving me the opportunity to have an angel as a nephew.

Obviously, sometimes it's inevitable to recall unpleasant experiences: memories jump to our minds without any logic. But when that happens, I don't dwell on those unpleasant memories; I don't "pick at the wound" or overthink it. I prioritize my mental health, my peace, my harmony. Because as long as I carry dark memories, I feel like I'm carrying a shadow that could break me at any moment. So the best thing I can do is forget, or at least not dwell on those memories.

I once read that just as humans have learned to memorize facts to preserve their existence, they are also capable of erasing "harmful information" from their memory that could be detrimental. They can have a kind of selective amnesia, a partial erasure, according to their own convenience. This leads me to think that remembering or forgetting can be an act of survival. That's why, depending on who's looking at it, I can remember a lot or a little, because I try to remember the good things, the beautiful things, the things that make me happy, and I quickly forget the other things.

All images are from my personal gallery and the text was translated with Google

Thank you for your support, for reading, and for your comments, friends. Until next time