It's way more intense than I thought it would be oo.
It starts with this low-key worry that just kind of hangs around. Suddenly, it's not just about getting your own stuff done. You're shaping how someone else starts out, which is a big deal. I didn't really get how stressful it would be until I was actually in it.
First off, the time commitment is insane. Something that used to take me, say, 20 minutes now eats up a whole hour explaining, showing how it's done, repeating things over and over. My groove, which I've worked on for years, is totally messed up. I have to break down everything I do without thinking into simple steps, which is way harder than it sounds! And, of course, the clock's ticking, deadlines are coming up fast, and there's this constant urge to just do it myself. But then, I feel bad about that.
The real kicker, though, is knowing you're a big influence. If I mess up, it's not just my problem. It’s a lesson I'm accidentally passing on. If I'm stressed out, it can bring them down if I don't watch it. I'm constantly thinking about what I say and do because I'm their main example of how things should be done. It's like being on stage all the time. Am I explaining things clearly? Am I treating them right? Am I pushing them to learn, or am I just expecting too much?
At the end of the day, the stress comes from caring so much about how their career is starting. When they struggle, I feel like I've failed them. When they're confused, I feel like I haven't taught them well enough. It's scary to think you're holding someone's passion their future in your hands, especially when you know you're not perfect. It’s stressful, it can be frustrating, but it's also pretty awesome to be in that position.
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